Robin Gorman Newman
Robin knows first hand the challenges of being a 35+ mom. At age 42. she became a mom, and it's changed her life in ways she couldn't have imagined. While in love with her son, child-rearing is no easy feat, and since she is one to look to share experiences, Motherhood Later...Than Sooner was born. Seeking support and camaraderie from peers can be both comforting and fun, and Robin is great at passing along resources as well.
A work-at-home mom , Robin is the author of HOW TO MEET A MENSCH IN NEW YORK and HOW TO MARRY A MENSCH. Mensch is defined as a decent person. She also works as The Love Coach and offers socializing advice to singles (www.lovecoach.com). She has a background in public relations and a Masters in Marketing, and is the founder of the Independent Business Women's Circle, a social networking group for enterprising women based in NY. Her work can be found at www.lovecoach.com.
Robin is the founder of MotherhoodLater.com and runs the New York City & Long Island chapter of Motherhood Later...Join it at Meetup.com: New York City/Long Island
I didn't plan to become a first time mom after 35. And I didn't plan not to be a mom for the first time after 35. I met my husband when I was in college at 19, and we married when we were just 24. Having a family was something I always wanted, but we put off starting in anticipation of a time in the future when our lives would be more settled. My husband was in medical training, and I was refining my skills as a holistic therapist, writer and editor and developing/running two businesses. Years slipped by quickly without our sitting down to say now is the time.
An unexpected medical condition arose, in our thirties, which complicated our ability to get pregnant. We also suffered several losses. But, I never doubted that we’d ultimately welcome a child into our lives. Our son, Sasha, was born when I was 40, and I have never been happier, more fulfilled or energized. I still edit and evaluate manuscripts; coach women on their motherhood journeys, and write the blog Woman Seeking Mother chronicling my mother quest. I am also hoping for a second child.
I believe that we all bring unique experience to motherhood, whether it comes sooner or later. I look forward to fostering and growing the Westchester, NY chapter of Motherhood Later, to promote socialization, support and community.
Many are surprised to learn that our first child was conceived through IVF after 25 years of marriage. While some perceive it s as late, Sarah, currently 18 months old, is our miracle baby and the sunshine of our lives. Soon we’ll be adding to our family..I am pregnant with identical twin boys due December 2009. My husband and I always wanted three children, and while it seemed it was not in the cards for us, funny how things sometimes work out.
I feel very fortunate that I'm able to be a SAHM. I've seen Sarah's every first. I never thought I'd be one of those moms who gets all mushy over the little things, but every milestone in her life has been an incredible experience. Before Sarah, I had a working life, I owned my own business for many years. I had a Gourmet, Coffee and Gift store, as well as a Concierge service that catered to the Entertainment Industry for 14 years. I sold in 2003 to focus on becoming pregnant.
Having a group like Motherhood Later is so important to me. I need to have a connection with women like myself, who know the joys and tribulations of being an older mommy; who share in the same ideas of raising a child; who may have the answers if I don't or are there just to chat. It’s great to have a support system and the opportunity to socialize.
My endearing and beautiful daughter, Whitney, who is 3.5 years old, came into this world by the grace of God. At 43, I must have still had the fertility of a 25 year old, because I got pregnant on the first try so to speak. She was not planned. I had mostly decided that for various and sundry reasons I was not going to have children. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was overcome for weeks with emotions filled apprehension and fear about becoming a mother. Motherhood was just not in the plans for me. I finally came to terms with the fact I was going to have a baby and be a mother and the rest is history. The pregnancy was picture perfect (except for easily managed gestational diabetes), and labor and delivery couldn't have been any easier. To this day, I love bragging about how easy my pregnancy, labor and delivery were! So much for "advanced maternal age"!
I am fast approaching 48 years old. I now know that I was meant to be a mother. I thank God that He made that decision for me!
I am proud to admit that I am not Mother of the Year! I always think that if I ever wrote a book about being a mother, I would title it....Congratulations! You are NOT Mother of the Year! My goal as a mother is to raise my daughter respectfully, diligently, safely and with reasonable expectations so that she can become an intelligent, well-adjusted, competent and self-sufficient person and who will always do right by others.
I was born and raised in Coral Gables, Florida. I have now lived in Texas collectively over half my life. My husband and I spent 5 years early in our marriage in New Jersey. We loved it there.
I am a Registered Nurse and work in the oncology unit at a large Dallas hospital. I love what I do! Although I work full time, I am afforded the flexibility and time off that a traditional five day a week work schedule does not.
I have found it challenging to find other like-minded women who started a family later in life for friendship, cameraderie, and support. I am hoping that heading a Motherhoodlater chapter in the Dallas, Texas area will help me and others meet mom peers whose company we can enjoy through varied activities, both with and without the children.
Bren Romano Monteiro
I’m a self-proclaimed late bloomer. I left my Miami career in advertising and broadcast production after 15 wonderful years, and headed back home to South Carolina with my husband in hopes of having a child and finally settling down. After multiple heart-wrenching losses, and a failed adoption in the process, I became a mom for the first time at age 40, and I couldn’t be happier.
A work-at-home-mom, I attempt to run my sales rep business during my daughter’s nap times, and I spend the rest of the time exploring all that Charleston and Mount Pleasant have to offer a curious toddler. I hope to share my passion for baking with my daughter, and my love of books. I write how-to articles on eHow as my creative outlet, until I get around to finally writing that novel I’ve been talking about. And to no one’s surprise, I now write mostly about baby issues, problems, and joys.
Being an older Mom doesn’t bring any double-fudge super special secret knowledge of how to be a mother, but with age and experience, come unique opportunities to problem-solve, troubleshoot, and say “ommmm” every morning before I start my day in a way I might not have been able to 20 years ago.
I’d love the chance to get to know other mothers that worked first and mothered next, and I see Motherhood Later as a great opportunity to connect with moms like me. I’m thrilled to start the Mount Pleasant/Charleston chapter of MotherhoodLater.com!
Julie Rubin moved to Denver from Paris, France when her long term relationship with a gorgeous Frenchman ended after years of infertility, including 3 failed IVF's. In Denver, she hoped that the famous Dr. Schoolcraft would help her achieve her goal of becoming a mother, although this time with donor sperm as a single woman. Alas, three more in vitro attempts were no more fruitful. While at the synagogue praying for a baby, she met her husband, Rick, who was saying Kaddish (a Jewish prayer) for his wife who had died of cancer. They were married nine months later, and quickly went to work on that elusive baby. Rick was raising two teenage daughters, and wasn't very interested in returning to sleepless nights and poopy diapers. But he recognized that Julie would never be happy without experiencing motherhood first hand. He agreed to one attempt, and boy/girl twins Noah and Lila were born when both parents were 49 years old!!!! Says Julie, "It wasn't for lack of trying that I became a mother for the first time at such an advanced age. I guess it just wasn't meant to be until the stars all aligned so that Rick could be the father." Julie holds a BS in Occupational Therapy and an MBA in Marketing from the University of Chicago. She has worked as an OT, Director of Rehabilitation Services in a hospital, Management Consultant in business strategy, European Sales Manager for a medical equipment company, Client Services Rep for a dot.com, and International Trade Specialist for the Mayor of Denver. Motherhood of 4 1/2 year old twins, and being step-mother of 22 and 21 year old girls is by far the most challenging, but also the most fulfilling job she has ever held. At age 54, Julie states, "They'll either keep me young, or wear me out!"
My husband, Robert, and I moved to the area recently with our young son Nathaniel, coming from Tulsa. Prior to that, I lived and worked in the greater Houston metro area as a secondary Mathematics teacher. When I moved to Tulsa, I took a break from the classroom to become the NE regional coordinator for the Oklahoma Schools Attuned program. It is a professional development program for classroom teachers to learn how to work with students with learning differences. Pregnancy and moving pretty much happened simultaneously, and I became a SAHM, for now. Motherhood Later..Than Sooner has allowed me to meet moms in the area which has wonderful since we moved to a new place with no family or friends in the immediate area. Not working has been a HUGE adjustment, and I crave adult interaction and learning opportunities. The group has filled a critical need. My goal is to continue to create opportunities for moms to share, grow from, and interact with each other in our chapter.
I am a 38-year-old, proud mother of twin two year olds and 2 step-children (13 & 15). I actually never thought I would have children myself, but after three years of dating my husband, I experienced a funny feeling, which in hindsight, could have been, “my clock ticking”. Ironically, with the next “funny feeling”, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at 34. Unfortunately, at 4 months old, we lost her. Exactly one year after our tragedy, I decided my life needed to take a turn. I had spent 15 years in Cosmetology and loved it; however, through our experience, I was drawn towards the medical field….and I wanted to have another baby. So, I went back to school and worked part-time consulting and training. Meanwhile, after much prayer, we found out that two little heroes were going to enter our world. It’s been both amazing and challenging. Being a later mom has so much to offer, but as I aspired to achieve my motherhood goals, I found little support. Through MotherhoodLater.com, I hope to give back what I have learned thus far to similar mothers, sharing thoughts, tips, and laughs.
My career began early with babysitting as a teen and included assisting in day care centers, teaching in Head Start, and then teaching in public school, both in elementary/middle grades and special education. I've always loved children and have had enough experience working with them, from babyhood to teens, to know that I didn't want any of my own! I was enchanted by the idea of raising children but also terrified that I'd be an exhausted, burnt-out mess.
I was raised by a strong, loving single-mom who scarcely let on how difficult parenting was. I never pictured myself married, since our household consisted of Mom, my sister and myself since I was 4 years old. To cut right to the chase, I did get married at age 32 and switched from teaching to dental management,. My husband and I moved from the suburbs of Baltimore to the country to run a dental practice. I enjoyed working, my pets, and my hobbies (reading, scrapbooking, gardening). Suddenly, I felt (emotionally) my biological clock ticking and started hearing pinings from my husband about wanting to become a parent. I thought if it doesn't happen this year it probably won't happen at all. I felt I owed it to my husband to at least try, half-heartedly. Seven months later, planned but unexpected, I was shocked to find out that I was not only expecting a child, but two.
The "Advanced Maternal Age" label had me worried for the whole nine months, although needlessly so. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy and c-section. The four days in the hospital following the birth were the last ones in which I had a decent night's sleep. I was 40 years old when the babies were born, and again, blessed that my aunt, uncle, cousin, sister and father helped me in various ways get through the first year, which I refer to as "Loving Hell." I do crazily love with these guys, now three and a half, and have lots of gray hairs and a SuperSized Muffin-Top to show for it. But I feel as though my brain is much more prepared for parenthood at 44 then it was at 24 or even 34. Emotionally and socially I'm in a better place today than after college and early career-hood. I've also learned how necessary it is to have support, even if you have to ask for it, and that's what led me to Motherhood Later than Sooner.
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Valerie is a 37 year old stay at home mother living in Pittsburgh with her 2 year old daughter, boyfriend, and two pets….parrot Jake and dog Heidi.
Valerie spent the first half of her adult life as a professional child care provider. Throughout her career she worked in the toddler rooms of two different daycares, offered temorary child care to families through a Pittsburgh based referral agency called Rent-A-Mom and was employed privately by many families as both a long term nanny and an occasional sitter. She primarily cared for infants, toddlers and preschoolers, but has cared for kids up to age 13 and often provided overnight care for parents on business trips and vacations. At age 35, Valerie was surprised to learn she was pregnant and was very confident in her abilities as a mother. However, after suffering a long labor, an emergency c-section, numerous breast feeding issues and then a colic baby, she was again surprised to find she wasn't the competent, calm mother she expected to be. Over the last two years Valerie has had to relearn child care thru the tired eyes of a weary and worn out mother, often feeling at the end of her rope and hanging by a thin thread to sanity. She has experienced first hand the strong forces behind every mother's lack of energy, will power and proper brain function.
Valerie hopes to return to work as a nanny someday, with her daughter by her side. But for now, with the help of her assistant organizers, she plans to build this MLTS chapter into a strong network of support for mature Pittsburgh moms.
I became a mother in middle age after living most of my adult life believing I would remain happily childless by choice. A demanding career in IT, interests that engaged me, minor health challenges, and a husband who was unenthusiastic about children, made me feel that having kids wasn't practical for me. Changing circumstances led me to rethink my decision in my mid-forties...a decision that nearly cost me my marriage. When adoption turned out to be a less viable option than I'd hoped, my sister encouraged me to seek fertility treatment. I got pregnant with twins on my second attempt with treatment and gave birth at age 48 to two healthy boys.
I continue to work supporting assistive technology systems to help disabled people work for a large federal agency. Most of my peers have empty nests, or older children, even in this area where so many women postpone childbearing for their careers. As the head of a Motherhood Later chapter in Northern Virginia, my goal is to help connect later moms like myself to share the parenting experience.
I became a mom for the first time at 38 years of age and again at 44. While pregnant the first time, I was concerned with how I was going to incorporate my busy urban lifestyle into motherhood. That all changed the minute I held my daughter in my arms. By the time my son came into this world, my only concern was how I could spend every waking moment with both of them.
Prior to motherhood, I spent over a decade in the financial world in both Chicago and New York, cooked professionally and jumped out of airplanes in my spare time. Being a mom later in life has allowed me to take myself a lot less seriously. I've seen the fallout of real catastrophe and a public diaper accident doesn't compare.
Chicago is a great place to raise children as there are a million different things to do here. And I know some of the best are free! I'm hoping to share my knowledge of being a Chicago Mom with other moms and learn a lot along the way.
As a daughter and granddaughter of women who had children in their forties, I never thought it was unusual to start having a family later in life. After a fulfilling career for many years as a nurse and nurse practitioner, I felt comfortable taking a break to become a SAHM and am enjoying almost every minute. My son was born when I was 38 years old, and I couldn’t imagine a better time in my life to have had him.
It will be great knowing and sharing experiences with other Later than Sooner moms, so I am excited to be a part of this group and to head the Salt Lake City Chapter.
My name is Jennifer; I’m 39 and have been married for 16 years. I grew up in a small town in Illinois, riding horses, fox hunting and pony clubbing my way through college. I have three dogs and love all animals. I dabble in various crafty pursuits (when time permits) and love to read books from suspense to romance and everything in-between.
I met my husband at the age of 22, and we married shortly thereafter. He is a US Marine who plans to retire in 18 months. Over the years, we have relocated quite a bit. Each time we moved, I had to jumpstart a new career and reestablish relationships with health care professionals. Needless to say, it made trying to conceive difficult.
Children were something we both always wanted, but I had medical issues that were only recently diagnosed. We’ve shared much over the years, and I recently found myself shocked that children were not part of our lives. There was a time not too long ago that I had begun to think having a family would not be possible.
We moved to Fort Worth in 2004, and after once again starting up my career and getting settled, I found an amazing OB and a fertility specialist who made our dream of parenting come true. I have PCOS and Hashimoto’s disease (hypo thyroid). I conceived my daughter via IVF and gave birth to Catherine Dorothea at the age of 37. My son, Connor James came shortly after also via IVF and was born on Valentine’s Day. I had two very different birth experiences, one natural and one emergency C-section. (I still have difficulty coming to terms with the second birth experience!)
I am now a full-time SAHM and am excited to head the Fort Worth chapter after trying other groups where I didn’t feel like I could relate or be related to! (Having an early 20-something girl with four kids smile politely with a blank face as I shared my IVF experiences … I realized I needed to keep looking to find mom peers!)
I hope to build relationships with women who can relate to my life experiences and share stories and laughter as we tackle this “brave new world” together!
Being one of the “younger” Motherhood Later members has never been a difficulty for Carrie. She had her now 4 year old son right after her 35th birthday. Now nearing 40, Carrie enjoys having enough life experience and mom experience to lead the Anchorage Motherhood Later group while still trying to juggle university classes and private music students. Carrie was also her daughter’s Girl Scout leader this past year. “There’s a reason I’m tired,” she says.
Amy Wall Lerman
Amy Wall Lerman gave birth to her son Evan Peter when she was 42 years old. With a 20 year career in television news behind her, she didn’t think a child would be in the cards for her. After two rounds of failed IVF attempts, Amy was ready to throw in the towel, but her optimistic husband insisted that “third time’s a charm” and it turns out, he was right. Evan was born in November 2007 and is the joy of their lives.
In addition to her work in telelvision, Amy is the author of several instruction books including, “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Family Games” and the “Complete Idiot’s Guide to Critical Reading.” She has also published her poetry in Patchwork, an online literary journal.
My full name is Genevieve, but most people call me Genny.
I got married at the aged of 37, and it was a shock to many of my friends, as they used to call me the original single girl. I spent my life before marriage on my career, travelling and having fun. I met my then husband at the age of 36, and within six months we got engaged ,and six months later got marriage. I am now 48 years old, divorced and have two boys aged 8 and 10.
I work full time as a bookkeeping home tutor, and run my part time confidence building training company. Additionally, I have set up two charities “Lone Parents Can” and “Confident Children”, with the aim of making a difference in people’s life. I also contribute articles to various websites.
My simple message to other mums is that success in life can only be achieved by getting rid of negative beliefs, and replacing them with positive visions and aspirations. Take control of your life, and make a difference. Pursue one positive action each day, and your dreams will indeed come true.
After years of being told to "just relax", "come home now, my temperature's up" phone calls to her husband, scary drugs she'd rather not
think about and bonding with other women over bad coffee during early morning waits at the infertility clinic, Karen became a proud first-time
mom at age 35. Her second daughter came home almost five years later.
I became a first time mom at 41. I grew up traveling the world, and spent my 20's finding out who I was, and my 30's realizing what I wanted out of life. I met my husband when I was 36. I always thought it would be easy to get pregnant and start a family. Not so. Because of my "advanced" maternal age, we had a lot of difficulty conceiving, and then a lot of help from doctors getting my son here, so I left my career in Human Resources to spend my time raising our little miracle. We tried several times afterwards for more children but no such luck. I'm grateful for this gif,t and I don't want to miss a minute of it! Being an "older" mom definitely has its challenges, but it's worth it!!
Being a "later" mother, you are kinda in the middle of things. Most friends my age have grown children, and some are even grandparents! Other friends decided to remain childless. I've made friends with the younger moms but sometimes feel a bit out of place. It was great to find Motherhood Later and have a place to share experiences and connect with others in my same situation. So here's to Motherhood Later!