Blog for Moms Over 35


Our group for older moms over 35 parenting later in life blog features moms and experts sharing.  We share about living life fully over age 35, and write not just about parenting experiences, but life, growth, aging, etc.

Given Robin’s personal passion for sharing cool finds, travel destinations, unique attractions and theatre going, she writes periodic reviews of products, services, trips, Broadway and Off Broadway shows and other forms of entertainment, attractions and leisure pursuits….whether for kids, moms or couples.

If you’d like to submit a topic, product, destination, event, show or attraction for consideration, write robin@motherhoodlater.com.  Happy to hear from you!

Click to determine which type of writing opportunity is best for you.

Adoption


Tuesday
August 5, 2008

Why is the process of adoption such a challenge?

I have such a mixed feeling about this.

My son is adopted, and we went through a very difficult and emotional course until we successfully became his parents.

Adoption is a common path for many later parents, and while I know some who seemed to make a child their own with greater ease, I know others struggling.

A close mom friend of mine now wants to add to her family through adoption and has shared with me how overwhelming all the paperwork felt, etc., just getting to the point of being able to advertise. Now she is speaking with potential birthmothers, and that’s a whole different experience which nothing in life truly prepares you for.

On one hand, I respect that a legal system was put in place to protect children and ideally have them adopted by good homes. However, it just seems that many families whose hearts are in such a good place, and want to adopt, not only have to pay a lot of money to do so, but then have to endure the process which can easily feel like an emotional rollercoaster.

And, sometimes it doesn’t even seem … Continue reading..



At A Loss for Words


Friday
July 25, 2008


Recently one of my clients confided in me that she and her husband are trying to have a baby and are suffering from infertility. She just finished yet another attempt at IVF that didn’t even yield a single egg worthy of extraction. She is 38 years old. She told me she confided in me because she thought I was an inspiration given all that we went through to get Joey and Lyra.

Problem is, I feel like I can offer no inspiration whatsoever. I refuse to give advice to people on this subject, and I refuse to fall prey to all of the cliches.

I refuse to say “Don’t give up,” because I gave up.

I refuse to say “Just keep on trying,” because I stopped trying. And continuing to try in the face of such monumental odds is devastating to a woman’s self-esteem, pocket book and sanity.

I refuse to say “Just relax and it will happen,” because that is positively the most un-relaxing comment ever and it used to drive me crazy when people would say that to me. And besides, it doesn’t work.

I refuse to say “Adopt and then you’ll get pregnant,” because despite a few … Continue reading..



Our Children, Ourselves


Thursday
July 24, 2008

I was watching The View on ABC this morning, and they featured a number of guests addressing the subject of plastic surgery. It was a combination of both individuals and doctors sharing their experiences.

I was particularly struck by a mother and young daughter who were on the show. The daughter had had a couple of procedures. One was breast reduction. The other was liposuction. And, she was addressing how she has a deviated septum and expects one day to have surgery to correct her nose.

There was some debate about such a young person having elective cosmetic surgery, which is a whole topic unto itself.

What really struck me from the segment was a comment made to the effect that what matters most is that it be the child’s decision and not that of the parent. Of course the parent is there to support them and seek out competent medical care. But, at the end of the day, elective cosmetic surgery is not something a young person should do to please a parent.

This holds true, in general, way beyond any discussion re: plastic surgery.

As a parent, and perhaps in particular, as a later parent, we want so … Continue reading..



Phases of Life


Monday
July 14, 2008

My dad is turning 90 in September, and my sister and I are in discussion about planning a surprise party for him. Nothing super elaborate or large, but something special, heartfelt and memorable for all involved.

Last night, I attended a wedding for a third cousin with my dad. There I saw relatives many of whom I haven’t seen in years or perhaps never met. My dad is one of 7, so there’s quite a number of them on both his mother’s and father’s side. But, he only has one sibling living at present, a brother in Florida.

It got me thinking about the cycle of life. I am so grateful for my dad. I lost my mom over 10 years ago, and have blogged about that. And, I often wonder how long he will live (not that I want to think negatively). He has had a number of health challenges over the last few years in particular, and his age is catching up with him. I never viewed him as old. Age wasn’t a factor. He’s my dad, and that’s what counts.

Looking at him now makes me all the more conscious of the passsge of time, and the … Continue reading..



One Great Child


Monday
July 7, 2008

I was at the pool over the holiday weekend, and someone from my community, who I don’t know, spotted Seth in the pool and asked if he was my only one?

I found myself feeling defensive. Not just for myself as a mom, but protective in a sense for Seth. I quickly and thoughtfully responded, “Why do people say only one? As if he’s not enough. I prefer to think of it as I am the mom to ‘one great child.'”

I asked if he had any children. He took a moment, and interestingly responded, “I have one great child.”

I laughed. He smiled.

It got me thinking. Why is it that one of the most common questions from complete strangers is, is he your only one? And, it often feels like it’s said with a grain of sadness, as if the child is deprived.

Where did the phrase Only Child come from to begin with?

In my circle of “later mom” friends, there are many with one child. And, we don’t think of ourselves or our children as lacking. I am grateful for my one son.

I know there are many discussions re: the pros and cons of being … Continue reading..



Tequila or hormone-replacement therapy


Monday
June 23, 2008

It’s now 166 days since I’ve gotten my period. Six months have gone by and nothing. I get symptoms some months with sore boobs and even cramping where I think I’m going to get “it” and then the symptoms subside.

I’m 42 and my mother explained that she was completely finished by 46, but, now nearing 69, she’s a bit of a revisionist. My sister is older at 48 and hasn’t really missed a whole one yet or even had a hot flash. Those come…oh boy! in an all out blitz, like being called on by a teacher and you don’t know the answer and flush with that heat surge while your face turns red with purple spots and everyone’s staring at you. It’s the same. And headaches. I’ve had two really, really bad headaches this month where I thought a creature would explode out of my temple like the stomach scene from “Alien.”

I’m moody, cranky, bloated, gain weight just looking at food, and some smell oozes out of my every pore. I don’t smell like me anymore, I smell like Shaquele O’Neil’s dirty socks, oh…and I cry…A LOT. I cry because the garbage bag will not come loose … Continue reading..



SPECIAL BLOG POST: FRIDAY’S FORGOTTEN BOOKS


Thursday
June 19, 2008

Miriam the Medium, author, Rochelle Jewel Shapiro, (a wonderful writer & new friend), tagged me to contribute a review of an older book that isn’t widely read anymore or a recent book that’s slipped beneath the rador, and post it on my blog on Friday. This unique, creative project was launched by writer, Patti Abbot, http://pattinase.blogspot.com/, and I’m flattered to participate.

Since I’m posting this review on MotherhoodLater.com, I have selected a children’s title that recently came to my attention.

Had I not become a mother, I would never have had the pleasure of discovering this little gem of a book. So, I have Seth, my son, to thank for this, among other things.

Being the truck-loving “all boy” that he is, his nighttime story reading preference is almost always something related to firemen, rescue vehicles, construction, etc. However, The Gift of Nothing is a title that I’ve managed to sneak in to our reading repetoire, and I truly appreciate the message of this small tale with a lot of heart.

By Patrick McDonnell (Little, Brown and Company, 2006), whose website is www.muttscomics.com, it delightfully tells the story of Mooch the cat and Earl the dog. Mooch wants to give … Continue reading..



GRADUATION BLUES


Wednesday
June 18, 2008

Seth’s pre-K graduation was today, and it was close to being a disaster.

We arrived early, with my dad and Marc’s mom in tow, since parking is super hard by the school, and we wanted to get a prime view for the event.

Seth was totally thrilled to see us, and was excited in general about the festivities.

More and more people arrived, and the teachers prepared. The children, Seth’s fellow classmates, were asked to take their seats. All did, but Seth.

He clung to my neck with a mighty grip and wouldn’t let go. He refused to take his place and started to cry. I lifted him and tried to place him in his chair, and he wouldn’t loosen his gorilla-like grip.

One of the teaching aides came over and took him from me, and let him sit on her lap. He didn’t love that, but went along with it, and eventually sat in his seat. But, he refused to sing any of the songs. Wouldn’t smile. Made some small hand gestures to the music,as did the other kids. But, all without any enthusiasm.

I was stunned, and I thought Marc was going to totally lose it. He was … Continue reading..