Blog for Moms Over 35


Our group for older moms over 35 parenting later in life blog features moms and experts sharing.  We share about living life fully over age 35, and write not just about parenting experiences, but life, growth, aging, etc.

Given Robin’s personal passion for sharing cool finds, travel destinations, unique attractions and theatre going, she writes periodic reviews of products, services, trips, Broadway and Off Broadway shows and other forms of entertainment, attractions and leisure pursuits….whether for kids, moms or couples.

If you’d like to submit a topic, product, destination, event, show or attraction for consideration, write robin@motherhoodlater.com.  Happy to hear from you!

Click to determine which type of writing opportunity is best for you.

A NETWORK FOR OLDER MOTHERS


Thursday
August 21, 2008

Published: August 19. 2008 09:06AM

A NETWORK FOR OLDER MOTHERS


By Cathy Stovell

I’m over 40. Everyone knows that but still people bombard me with the question: “When are you going to have children?” What I find even more surprising is that most of the people who ask me this are seniors. Maybe it has got something to do with knowing me as a child and not fully realising my age, because I thought surely in their day women my age were not still having babies.

But there is a trend of women starting their families later in life and while I was not able to get local statistics, women I spoke with said they felt it is also happening in Bermuda.

Read more


Continue reading..



Another lesson in humility


Wednesday
August 20, 2008

It was around noon, lunch-time for my baby daughter. I had just started to feed her in her high-chair when the doorbell rang: it was the UPS man. I opened the door, saw him coming towards the door with a huge box (of diapers), and went out to get the box from him.

The very moment the door closed behind me, I realized with horror that I was locked out. I started to panic, repeatedly stuttering to the UPS man, “I’m locked out. My baby is inside. I’m locked out. My baby is inside. I’m ….” The UPS man calmly asked me if I wanted to call anyone. I didn’t have my phone with me. He didn’t have a phone with him. Luckily, there were a couple of workers next door, and let me use their phone. I called 911 and explained the situation.

Then I thought, maybe this is not a call for 911. Maybe I should call the police. So I shared my thinking with the 911 operator:
“I don’t know, maybe this is not a call for 911. Maybe I should call the police….”
“Ma’am, this IS the police.”
“Oh….”
“Just hang in there. I am connecting … Continue reading..



Career Choice: Motherhood Now or Later


Friday
August 15, 2008

Wake Up, Smell the Discrimination and Look Out for Your Career

Column By MICHELLE GOODMAN
Aug. 14, 2008

Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it feels as if researchers are popping out press releases on motherhood and careers faster than women are actually birthing babies.

In July, researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, told us that Harvard grads who went on to get their MBAs became stay-at-home moms at a higher rate than grads who went on to become doctors or lawyers.

Earlier this month, Cornell University let us know that mothers were 90 percent more likely to ditch their careers if their husbands worked at least 60 hours a week but that, if the roles were reversed, the husbands would likely keep on working.

And just last week, Cambridge University informed us that in the U.S., the percentage of people in favor of moms working full time dropped to 38 percent in 2002, down from 51 percent in 1994. In other words, if you believe that “family life would not suffer” if a mom has a career, you’re in the minority.

Read more

and note the mention of MLTS & Robin!

Then again, there’s always the concern … Continue reading..



Adoption


Tuesday
August 5, 2008

Why is the process of adoption such a challenge?

I have such a mixed feeling about this.

My son is adopted, and we went through a very difficult and emotional course until we successfully became his parents.

Adoption is a common path for many later parents, and while I know some who seemed to make a child their own with greater ease, I know others struggling.

A close mom friend of mine now wants to add to her family through adoption and has shared with me how overwhelming all the paperwork felt, etc., just getting to the point of being able to advertise. Now she is speaking with potential birthmothers, and that’s a whole different experience which nothing in life truly prepares you for.

On one hand, I respect that a legal system was put in place to protect children and ideally have them adopted by good homes. However, it just seems that many families whose hearts are in such a good place, and want to adopt, not only have to pay a lot of money to do so, but then have to endure the process which can easily feel like an emotional rollercoaster.

And, sometimes it doesn’t even seem … Continue reading..



At A Loss for Words


Friday
July 25, 2008


Recently one of my clients confided in me that she and her husband are trying to have a baby and are suffering from infertility. She just finished yet another attempt at IVF that didn’t even yield a single egg worthy of extraction. She is 38 years old. She told me she confided in me because she thought I was an inspiration given all that we went through to get Joey and Lyra.

Problem is, I feel like I can offer no inspiration whatsoever. I refuse to give advice to people on this subject, and I refuse to fall prey to all of the cliches.

I refuse to say “Don’t give up,” because I gave up.

I refuse to say “Just keep on trying,” because I stopped trying. And continuing to try in the face of such monumental odds is devastating to a woman’s self-esteem, pocket book and sanity.

I refuse to say “Just relax and it will happen,” because that is positively the most un-relaxing comment ever and it used to drive me crazy when people would say that to me. And besides, it doesn’t work.

I refuse to say “Adopt and then you’ll get pregnant,” because despite a few … Continue reading..



Our Children, Ourselves


Thursday
July 24, 2008

I was watching The View on ABC this morning, and they featured a number of guests addressing the subject of plastic surgery. It was a combination of both individuals and doctors sharing their experiences.

I was particularly struck by a mother and young daughter who were on the show. The daughter had had a couple of procedures. One was breast reduction. The other was liposuction. And, she was addressing how she has a deviated septum and expects one day to have surgery to correct her nose.

There was some debate about such a young person having elective cosmetic surgery, which is a whole topic unto itself.

What really struck me from the segment was a comment made to the effect that what matters most is that it be the child’s decision and not that of the parent. Of course the parent is there to support them and seek out competent medical care. But, at the end of the day, elective cosmetic surgery is not something a young person should do to please a parent.

This holds true, in general, way beyond any discussion re: plastic surgery.

As a parent, and perhaps in particular, as a later parent, we want so … Continue reading..



Phases of Life


Monday
July 14, 2008

My dad is turning 90 in September, and my sister and I are in discussion about planning a surprise party for him. Nothing super elaborate or large, but something special, heartfelt and memorable for all involved.

Last night, I attended a wedding for a third cousin with my dad. There I saw relatives many of whom I haven’t seen in years or perhaps never met. My dad is one of 7, so there’s quite a number of them on both his mother’s and father’s side. But, he only has one sibling living at present, a brother in Florida.

It got me thinking about the cycle of life. I am so grateful for my dad. I lost my mom over 10 years ago, and have blogged about that. And, I often wonder how long he will live (not that I want to think negatively). He has had a number of health challenges over the last few years in particular, and his age is catching up with him. I never viewed him as old. Age wasn’t a factor. He’s my dad, and that’s what counts.

Looking at him now makes me all the more conscious of the passsge of time, and the … Continue reading..



One Great Child


Monday
July 7, 2008

I was at the pool over the holiday weekend, and someone from my community, who I don’t know, spotted Seth in the pool and asked if he was my only one?

I found myself feeling defensive. Not just for myself as a mom, but protective in a sense for Seth. I quickly and thoughtfully responded, “Why do people say only one? As if he’s not enough. I prefer to think of it as I am the mom to ‘one great child.'”

I asked if he had any children. He took a moment, and interestingly responded, “I have one great child.”

I laughed. He smiled.

It got me thinking. Why is it that one of the most common questions from complete strangers is, is he your only one? And, it often feels like it’s said with a grain of sadness, as if the child is deprived.

Where did the phrase Only Child come from to begin with?

In my circle of “later mom” friends, there are many with one child. And, we don’t think of ourselves or our children as lacking. I am grateful for my one son.

I know there are many discussions re: the pros and cons of being … Continue reading..