Blog for Moms Over 35


Our group for older moms over 35 parenting later in life blog features moms and experts sharing.  We share about living life fully over age 35, and write not just about parenting experiences, but life, growth, aging, etc.

Given Robin’s personal passion for sharing cool finds, travel destinations, unique attractions and theatre going, she and others write periodic reviews of products, services, trips, Broadway and Off Broadway shows and other forms of entertainment, attractions and leisure pursuits….whether for kids, moms or couples.

If you’d like to submit a topic, product, destination, event, show or attraction for consideration, write robin@motherhoodlater.com.  Happy to hear from you!

Click to determine which type of writing opportunity is best for you.

Pushing Buttons


Saturday
October 6, 2007

I didn’t plan to blog on this subject, but I need to vent at the moment.

It is never a dull moment as a parent….both good ‘n bad.

This morning, Seth went out with Marc to do errands, and they returned while I was taking a shower. Next thing I know, Seth is on the floor of my bathroom playing with the sliding bathroom door, and managed to pull it partially off the hinges. I know he’s just four years old, but it gets frustrating living with a person, despite their young age, who has no regard for things in their home.

I know he didn’t intentionally plan to break it, but the damage is done. And, Marc is as far from a handy man as you can get. So, what now? And, how much will this cost to fix?

I realize in the scheme of things, this incident is not a biggie, but it all adds up. Seth would surely not like it if I were to break his toys (not that I’d do that). Yet, this is not the first thing he’s wrecked in the house.

I think part of it is that I spend so much time … Continue reading..



To-be


Friday
October 5, 2007

My in-laws gave us a generous gift for the baby, with a card that said “for the baby-to-be.” It was refreshing to read it.

The stage that I am in has been investigated by anthropologists who coined it “liminality.” As humans move through major stages of life, many cultures (if not all) designate a period that is in-between stages, marked with a set of rituals (rite of passage). One obvious example is adulthood (often for males), and another, death. When a person enters this in-between stage, that person belongs to a transient stage, often isolated from society, and the normal social rules do not apply. To my knowledge, not much is studied about the phase that I am in: I am neither a mother nor a non-mother. I am pretty much removed from the normal social environment (since my maternity leave started), and I am definitely treated differently.

At 36 weeks, I feel that I am verging on the cross-over. I am called a “mom” from time to time, although it is clear that I am not one yet. I am a non-mom and a mom at the same time. What do you say, Dr. Schrodinger?… Continue reading..



The 4 Hour Work Day…Sucks


Wednesday
September 26, 2007

First, the good news: I’m feeling so much better both physically and mentally than a year ago or even 6 months ago, and I’m diving into my work with gusto. I really enjoy the creativity and the intellectual challenge. And I love the fact that I can work from home.

Now, the not so good news: I still only get 4 hours per weekday to get my work done. And I’m now doing an 8 hour day workload, at least that much, and it is spilling out over those 4 hours when the babysitter is here.

So now, I’m dealing with:

1. Frustration because I can never get the work done that I need to get done each day.

2. Stress because the work is piling up and seeming unmanageable when I know I’m totally capable of doing it – and want to do it – but can’t.

3. Guilt because I sneak onto my computer the rest of the afternoon when Noa wants to play or have me read to her, and all I want is for her to watch a bunch of videos to give me a few more minutes to work.

Extending the babysitter’s time here is … Continue reading..



Living the Sandwich Generation


Tuesday
September 25, 2007

I am living the Sandwich Generation life…..and I don’t mean grilled cheese or pastrami on rye (though I could go for a good swiss melt one of these days). :)

My dad turned 89 on 9/2, and he’s been having health challenges. I feel like we’re in a medical circus. He’s going from doctor to doctor, incessantly describing his symptons,and thus far, has not received a diagnosis. I’ve accompanied him at times, and other times, have faxed him a list of questions to have answered. It’s been hard. I’m not sleeping well, and it’s constantly on my mind.

I’ve mentioned my situation to a few moms I know, and others have shared similar challenges with their senior parents. This is one of the big scenarios that can potentially come with parenting later in life.

You read a lot about balance when you become a mom, and trying to keep it all together in terms of your personal and professional life, if you are working. But, what’s equally as hard is finding balance in taking care of yourself when you’re caring for a young child, and trying to be there for an elderly parent. Nothing prepares you for this.

When I … Continue reading..



Choosing a pediatrician


Friday
September 14, 2007

Yesterday, we went to an interview with Dr. R. Just like M and V from the group said, she was superb! There were three other women at the interview. Fortunately for us, one women came with a list of questions about many things: bottles, breastfeeding, pacifiers, immunization, HPV screening policies, etc… She even had a question about circumcision, and she is having a daughter!

For us, it was important that we get a female doctor (since we are having a daughter) with a sunny disposition, open-mindedness, and good training. The number of years at practice was not too important.

We found out that she went to Yale (where my husband went) and her parents went to UCR (where I am). That was the icing on the cake. We had another interview set up with another doctor in two weeks, but cancelled it and decided to go with Dr. R.

Are you looking for a pediatrician? Do you already have one? What factors are(were) important in your decision?… Continue reading..



Confessions of a Later Dad by Robin Gorman Newman


Thursday
September 13, 2007

I caught the season premiere of the Oprah Show on tv this week, and David Letterman was her guest. Broadcast specially from New York, much was made of Letterman’s long-awaited appearance since he had joked for some time on his late night show about wanting to be on Oprah.

So, here they were. Two larger than life media powerhouses shooting the breeze. Letterman, who leads a very private life, for the first time that I have seen, opened up like a regular person versus someone who is “on.” What I found most interesting was when the conversation pertained to his family life. Letterman, 60, along with his longtime 40 something girlfriend, is a parent to four year old Harry. He showed photos, and glowed as he spoked of him. Clearly, this is a “later” dad who never expected to become a dad, and he is super grateful for it.

What struck me was his candor. And, since you don’t often hear from an “older” dad, it was refreshing. He said that one of the things he finds most challenging is the concept of “patience vs. discipline.” And, I immediately thought, I know what he means.

When your child acts up, … Continue reading..



Decaf & a Blog


Tuesday
September 11, 2007

I’m catching up with emails and blogging this evening at a local cafe with free wifi. Since I’m flying solo this week in my role as “Hunting Widow” (yes, my husband is a hunter), I did some advanced planning and asked my alternate babysitter to come by every evening at 6pm and to stay with baby for two hours. I was just looking for a little bit of relief from my screaming toddler.

Tonight was the first night, and I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. Should I go to a movie? Nah, I felt a little weird going to a movie alone. Plus I still have so much work to do that I can’t seem to catch up on. And I can’t get to my emails. And I have to blog. And I’ve got some articles to prep.

So I decided to head to a cybercafe. Of course, now that I’m here, I realize that I brought my wicked fast new Macbook but it doesn’t have half the things that I wanted to work on loaded on its harddrive. So I can only blog or check email.

Before coming to this coffee shop – which … Continue reading..



Marital Milestone


Saturday
September 8, 2007

Boy does time fly!

Marc & I will be married 15 years this week. I look at wedding photos of us (which I don’t often do) and can see the youth there. I was 30 when we met, and we tied the knot two years later. I remember it well.

So much has changed since that memorable, sunny day, full of love, friends, family, and shared dreams. I lost my mom, and he lost his dad. Neither lived to see us become parents, though my mother knew we were undergoing fertility treatment at the time she became seriously ill. Looking back, it’s no huge surprise that the IVF failed twice, given all the stress I was under visiting her in the hospital.

I look at photos of Marc & I now, and I can see how time and life ages you. Not that I’m an old geezer…..but 47 is a far cry from 32. There are more facial lines, gray strands, back stiffness…..etc. But, I am grateful for my overall health, and for Marc’s as well. And to have Seth in our lives.

So, tonight we will celebrate. We hired a sitter for Seth, and we’re dining in an elegant … Continue reading..