Bloomin’ Moms: A Later Mom Shares – By Kay McIntyre, A Grandma-Mom

Kay McIntyreI am a 52 year old mother of a 26-year-old daughter and 31-year-old son. I was a “stay at home mom” while they were growing up but was widowed 13 years ago. I needed to find a way to support us without a college degree. After my husband died, I applied for and got a job as a Dining Manager at our local University (30 miles away) and have been employed there for the past 8 years. I have been frantically trying to catch up on retirement savings. I have been remarried for 7 years and we’ve had an empty nest for the past 5. Our life has been comfortable and impulsive until recently.

My daughter had a baby girl June 2 of this year and I became a Grandma for the first time. Three weeks later the baby was placed in my custody. We’ve had her ever since. She is truly a joy! We really enjoy watching her development progress. Caring for her is very rewarding. But the adjustment has been tremendous for my husband and me. I do almost all of the at home care myself, as well as the bottles and laundry and working fulltime. Dealing with interrupted sleep and only a few hours of it is difficult at my age. She is starting to sleep through the night now and that will make it easier.

I was on maternity leave the first 6 weeks and have recently returned to work. Looking for daycare has been a real experience. Getting the baby and myself ready and to daycare by 6:30 a.m. has been a challenge. I kept myself informed on the latest information on baby care via the Internet and various publications throughout my daughter’s pregnancy, so I have learned a few new things and things that are different from when I was raising children.

I’ve had very little respite from my responsibility and am exhausted a great deal of the time. It is stressful trying to be a good parent to my grand-daughter and maintain my employment so close to retirement. Actually our retirement plans will probably have to be altered now as have some other plans we had. It is frustrating that I have no peers and little moral support from anyone. On the upside, I have lost 40 lbs which was needed. I call it “Baby Bootcamp!” Physically I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since my 30’s.

When I heard about your site I thought I would check it out. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it :)

  1. 4 Responses to “Bloomin’ Moms: A Later Mom Shares – By Kay McIntyre, A Grandma-Mom”

  2. We are legion! I am the 50 year old “bio-mom” to a 30yr daughter and almost 13yo son. I also have full custody and am raising my almost 10 year old grandson and 3 year old granddaughter. We got the grandson when he was 6 and MY baby girl at a few weeks old too. Retirement? What retirement! At 65 and almost 70 we will be attending my baby’s graduation and preparing her for college. I know now how much raising these children is a lifetime commitment, more than I did in my 20’s or even 30’s. The almost 10yo has sever learning disabilities and lower IQ so I am sure he will be an even longer term commitment although his counselors think he will have the potential to be self sufficient with a lot of training and stimulation. My son is the one who has most suffered, and benefited from this. His world changed and he was displaced as an almost only child to being the live in “bruncle” (Uncle/Brother hybrid!). We do what we need to do and move forward. That is what being the mom is all about.

    By Jean on Sep 25, 2012

  3. Jean, prayers for you and family! God Bless!

    By Kay on Sep 30, 2012

  4. Wow!! What you are doing for your granddaughter is the best gift you could ever giver her a loving stable home! I am so sorry to hear that you don’t have very much support. Are there any local grandparents raising children groups in your area? You can check your local hospital they might know of some local support groups.

    By allison on Sep 30, 2012

  5. I’m proud to tell people that I dealt with colic and menopause at the same time!

    By Kay on Oct 8, 2012