It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas by Maureen Eich VanWalleghan

I hate Christmas. Not in a scrooge kind of way, just the grumpiness of personal family life. My husband and I bicker. All the weird issues between my brother and I come up. I am more sensitive to my mom’s comments. Generally, I am more serious than relaxed this time of year. My birthday is just after Christmas, my husband’s just before, plus there’s new years. It’s a particularly busy time of year beyond the usual Christmas tasks.

When it comes to our daughter we have a number of traditions we like to do: we cut our own Christmas tree; we take the Polar express to the North Pole and we get an annual picture of H. with Santa; we watch the Court House Plaza Christmas tree lighting; we watch or participate in the annual Christmas parade. Sadly, this year my daughter was sick on the day of the parade and lighting. Our tree is cut, but sitting in the backyard because my husband needs to move out some old furniture in his office and move in his new desk (which is taking up space in the dining area)…so we have room for the tree. We may do this on Sunday. Hard to say though because it will depend on his mood.

Christmas morning is always a delight with H., but there is a bit of a cloud over myself and my husband because of the bickering. I wish I knew what we were really fighting over. Mostly it’s petty stuff. I don’t know what to do about the lack of joy. We are heading toward our six year anniversary. What makes men tick? It is me? The season? Old anxieties? I just don’t know.

Today when I picked up my daughter I had a quick chat with a mom friend. She explained that she needed a brief vacation and what she really wanted was a bed, a bottle of wine and a book. The 3 Bs are what I need as well. And I would like to have them now and enjoy them until well after my birthday. Since that will not be coming forthwith, I will have to settle for the three Hs: humbug, hamburger, and hummus. Will I feel peppier next week? I hope so.