I have a new book coming out and I wanted to run these chapter titles by you. Ready…? Ok. Here goes.

Chapter 1: the tit; a.k.a.: God bless WIC

what will be covered: how breastfeeding until your child is at least 2 — or starts biting you — is a no-duh decision that every mom should aim for

Chapter 2: no nursery or daycare; a.k.a: I’ll be damned if my 6-month-old newborn is gonna find themselves up in no nursery school while I’m out there working for “the man”

what will be covered: I think that’s pretty clear.

Chapter 3: Dr. Laura’s way; a.k.a: I am my kid’s mom.

what will be covered: how the highly underrated Dr. Laura Schlessinger formed a lot of my thinking about what kind of mom I intended to be once I became one.

Chapter 4: private school and homeschool

what will be covered: Under what circumstances or conditions moms can work outside of the home and still keep their eyes on the prize

Chapter 5: Their father(s).

what will be covered: how to keep dads in the game long past the point of being able to tolerate their existence

Chapter 6: do their homework

what will be covered: my, I’m sure, totally inflammatory beliefs and opinions about why and when it’s ok to do your kids’ homework

Chapter 7: The Experiment

what will be covered: Keeping your kids away from toxic or unhealthy grandparents, and standing your ground about your parenting style choice. I told everyone I was doing something different here. I called it…: “The experiment”, and then I dared them to stand in my way.

Chapter 8: The Dossier; a.k.a. Tell them the truth. About everything.

What will be covered: How and at what age to let your kids in on the things they need to know to protect themselves and make informed decisions about things that are historically dictated to us as kids, but which they should have a say in as spiritual and individuated beings that you, the parent, are merely stewarding.

Chapter 9: Teach them about money.

What will be covered here: lessons from my top fave money gurus (Money Queen Amanda Frances, and Finance Professor Dr. Boyce Watkins)

Chapter 10: come clean about God

what will be covered here: (1) how no one really knows; (2) how “the definition of dogma is false certainty” (-Adam Elenbaas), and (3) how “Truth is caught…, not taught.” (-Pamela Francis)

Chapter 11: the only constant is Astrology.

what will be covered here: debunking the platitude that the only constant is change…, unless by change you mean… ASTROLOGY.