A True Story, When My Children Were Forcibly Taken Away From Me by Wendy Sue Noah

It started out harmless, so it seemed. My children’s father, Jerry (name changed), came home from the hospital with very high blood pressure and was feeling fatigued. We just had our fifth child, and due to the fact that I was finally standing up to him, for myself and our children, our marriage was hanging on by strings. But my marriage was not my primary concern, as I was no longer going to sit back and let him abuse us, like he had over the last decade.

“Honey, I really need peace and quiet, to rest some. That’s what the doctor told me to do. And after giving birth, I’m sure you can use some down time, as well. I’m going to bring our children to my sister’s house. She has already told me that she will watch over them for a week or two,” states Jerry matter-of-factly.

This was not a request, mind you. When Jerry executes an order or demand, then that is it. Living with this Drill Sergeant, I knew better than to argue with him. Especially since this “time off” sounded reasonable, for both of us. There was only one major concern that I had, and expressed to him.

“Sounds like a good idea. However, I am breastfeeding Samaj (who was at the tender age of 10 months old), so can we possibly leave him with us?”

“No, he’s going to my sister’s with the rest of the kids.”

Period. End of discussion.

The next day, Jerry drove the two hours to drop our kids off in Lancaster, with their aunt, Charlene. Not only was Charlene in her 40’s and never married, but she longed for children of her own. I thought that was a good thing, at first, that she would treat my children with tender love and care. Little did I know what was really going on here.

Without the children between Jerry and I as a buffer, our arguments got even more heated and after a few days, he presented me with a legal document that stated that I must leave our home BEFORE the children return home. This seemed totally preposterous to me! A good Lawyer friend of mine told me NOT to do it, or it would look like I abandoned my children to the court, and I could lose custody of them.

So I stood my ground, and told him, “NO!” I was not going to leave the home. At this point, the phrase, “The tension in the room was so thick one could almost cut it with a knife,” took on a whole new level of truth.

Jerry hadn’t yet witnessed this level of strength and fortitude in me, as after years of physical, mental and spiritual abuse, he assumed that I was weak and under his thumb. What he didn’t know, and I didn’t know either, is that I am a Polar Bear mom, and you do not mess with my cubs!!

Soon after, he packed a bag, left our home, and went to move in with his sister. Whenever I called Charlene to speak to my children, she would not let me. “Oh, they are outside playing right now.” or “They are too busy to speak to you.”

“They are MY children, Charlene! You let me speak to them NOW!”

And then she would sinisterly laugh, and hang up the phone, after telling me that something is wrong with me, and that I need to go to a mental hospital to get checked out!

Stay with me, my friend. It gets even better.

Come to find out that Jerry promised his sister 5 new babies! All she had to do was help him get rid of me, and they would all live in her lovely home, where she can play “mommy”. How sweet, don’t you think?

Finally, Jerry speaks to me in his soothing tone, to let me know that it was time now, to come and see my children again. It’s been a month since I had last held them, and spoke to them. My breasts hurt with dried up breast milk, meant to feed and nourish Samaj.

I was ecstatic! Purchased a few small gifts for each one of them, wore their favorite floral dress, and drove up to visit them in Lancaster. I wasn’t sure what the change of heart was for Jerry, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that did matter was that I was going to see my kids again!

When I arrived, the house was eerily quiet. How can you keep five little ones, including an infant, that quiet? And weren’t they expecting me?

So I knock on the door, and Jerry comes out. He didn’t make eye contact with me and he looked very tired, ragged. “Did you bring the money to feed the kids?” This was a part of the arrangement for me to come for a visit.

“Yes, I did. I will give it to you after I see my children.”

Jerry then walks back inside and calls out for his sister. Charlene comes storming out the door, handing me a legal document before quickly turning away and slamming the door.

The document screamed, “RESTRAINING ORDER”. I was officially served. I drove two hours with great hope and anticipation, to only give them the opportunity to serve me. They had lied and convinced a Judge that I was the abusive one here!

I then had to return home and receive a 15 minute police escort from what had been my family home, to retrieve a few items, and then leave. For good. Without any knowledge or understanding as to when I would see, or if I would see, my children again…

The story goes on and on, and I have a memoir that details many of the trials, tribulations and miracles that occurred here. You can find it at Amazon, “Real Eyes Faith”.

Fast forward to today, in the trump era. I’m going about my life as positive and grateful as possible (as I have so much to be grateful for now!), and the news hits me like a ton of bricks. It’s PTSD. It’s the vivid memory of having my children forcibly taken from me, and re-experiencing the most earth-shattering trauma of my entire life.

If you are a mother or father, I know you can empathize with the horrific situation of immigrants having their children forcibly removed from them. If you are not a parent, imagine if this happened to one of your siblings who has kids, or to your own mom or dad, with you as a child.  You’ve got to FEEL this, my friend. We are way past politics here; this is a total violation of basic human rights.

Removing a child or children from their safety love net, their home base, their nest, is a very cruel and sick thing to do. God has given us family, parents, siblings, to provide a safe haven in a cruel world. It’s not always like that, of course, hence why there are so many children in foster care. However, if a family is traveling together to reach a better place, then they are a unit of love. Something to cherish, not rip apart.

I am so appalled by our leadership in this country today, and completely blown away by people whom I had considered friends, who actually support the administration’s decision to remove kids from their parents, because they are only immigrants,” and as the trump says, and they are infesting our country.

NO! They are human beings, like you and me. Most of them are escaping horrific conditions in their country and they are trying to make a better life for themselves, for their family.

Hitler did the same thing, removing children from their parents. Is this country on its way to another Holocaust or genocide, yet this time it will be against immigrants, or Muslims, or gay people?! Only if we allow it to happen!

Please, please, please. In whatever way you can, join me in standing strong against this inhumane horrific unacceptable treatment. And remember:

“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”― Mother Teresa