Join Motherhood Later... Than Sooner Older Moms Group

  Did you become a midlife mom at 35+ whether for the first time or again?  Join an in-person chapter, or help launch one in your town. Membership is free. Connect with later moms online on Facebook and follow us on Twitter @rgnewman.  Dads are welcome to join us as well!  We have many 40+ mothers  and 50+ mothers and fathers in our ...

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Testimonial - Lani Neumann, Member of NY Chapter

A quick reflection on my childhood and one can see no obvious signs to suggest my path to motherhood would be anything but typical. My favorite childhood photos are of me walking in our driveway, on my tippy toes, pushing a baby stroller like a natural. I couldn't have imagined that I'd be 43 the first time I pushed a stroller ...

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Write For Us: Share with Later in Life Moms

Want to Blog for Us? Have you always wanted to blog and didn’t know how to get started?  Are you an experienced mommy blogger who would like to share with our later in life parent community?  Are you a parenting expert?  Author?  Someone with wisdom to share of interest to moms over 35?  Do you have a compelling story or point ...

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Meet Motherhood Later Chapter Head Chris Thompson In Los Angeles

Many are surprised to learn that our first child was conceived through IVF after 25 years of marriage. While some perceive it as late, Sarah is our miracle girl and the sunshine of our lives.  We also have two identical twin boys, Ryland and Dylan, born December 22, 2009.  My husband and I always wanted three children, and while it ...

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Later Mom Features


Meet Later in Life Mother Amy Klein: Interview by Robin Gorman Newman


Amy Klein headshots in Central Park on March 8, 2020

AGE: 48
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married
RESIDENCE: NYC

I’m a journalist who writes about health and later, fertility. I had New York Times column following my journey through fertility and now a book, The Trying Game: Get Through Fertility Treatment and Get Pregnant Without Losing Your Mind (Penguin/Random House) that helps others through the journey. prh.com/tryinggame  Find me on: Instagram Twitter Facebook

Tell us about your path to parenthood.  Even though I was 41 when I got married, I thought it wouldn’t be difficult to get pregnant. And it wasn’t. For me it was impossible to stay pregnant. After two miscarriages, I started IVF and after another two miscarriages (one with a donor egg), I finally found a reproductive immunologist to help me carry a baby. Ten doctors, four years, three countries later we had our daughter….now age 4.5.  

How does motherhood influence your work?  Well, my work is writing, so it’s often about parenting, or what I sometimes call pre-parenting, ie Trying (coincidentally the title of my book).  Before I had a kid, I promised I would never complain about it, like I’m so glad it’s Monday, away from the family, but that promise is impossible to keep. I’m grateful for my family, but can’t believe the headspace and emotional labor it all takes up – and threatens to take over my writing. Thankfully, I write about all of it so it’s intertwined.

What inspired you to chronicle your fertility journey in The New York Times? When I started Trying in 2011, there wasn’t really anything in the mainstream space. There were these secret boards called “fertile thoughts” where everyone was wishing each other “magic baby dust” and scientific journals but nothing in the mainstream media. I kept on sending the Times essays and pitches and she just offered me a column – which she thought would quickly transition into a pregnancy column. HA! Thirty columns and three years later…

What inspired you to write your book? I always thought I’d write a memoir of my journey, but after I wrote most of it, I realized that people going through infertility really need more than my personal story. Whether you’re young and just starting out, freezing your eggs, going it alone, with a same-sex partner, or in the trenches for a while, you want support and to figure out how the F to do this. These days all the fertility boards have migrated to Facebook, and there’s too much rather than too little information. But the questions are the same: Do I need to go to my best friend’s baby shower? How many embryos should I transfer? How am I going to pay for all of this?

I wanted to help people not make the same mistakes I made, and get through it all faster and emerge saner.    

What advice would you offer multi-tasking later in life moms? Well, most of us have an advantage, the wisdom that comes with age. Not everything is as important, we realize, and for me at least, I never got so swallowed up by motherhood that I forgot who I was. I mean, I’m a writer and a journalist, even if I took time off for pregnancy and parenting. I don’t know if I would have said that if I’d started earlier.  In my book, I have a chapter on regrets – I would’ve/should’ve/could’ve started younger, earlier,– but what we really find, if given the same set of circumstances, is we would make the same choices all over again. So NO REGRETS.  As a later mom, maybe we have more of a responsibility to be healthier both in body AND mind, to be conscious and loving parents.

Is it tough to balance parenting, a personal life and professional pursuits? I think it’s true you might be able to have it all but not all at the same time. When I used to be more active at the gym, in my thirties, I remember that some days, when I was anxious and stressed and worried, well, those were cardio days. Other days, when I was low and tired and bummed out would be weights day. In the former I hadn’t the concentration, in the latter I hadn’t the energy. Metaphorically, it just means to go with where ever you are. In hindsight, I wish I had taken off the first six months after birth and then went back to work full-time instead of doing a mediocre job trying to work those early months.

I’m a notorious extrovert, so sometimes it’s hard for me to turn inward and focus only on family and/or writing. Luckily, my daughter has FOMO too, so we make an excellent team out in the world.

How do practice self-care and de-stress? I love to work out (see above). A swimming injury has stopped me from the pool and yoga so I switch it up to spinning and running. I spend way too much time online and way too much time noshing when I shouldn’t be, but I’ve learned to forgive myself these foibles.

What are the positives and challenges of becoming a later in life mother? I was raised in a religious community that expected me to start having children by 25 – and only have a flexible, unserious career to support that – but part of me knew that would have destroyed me. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know if I had started younger – at 25, 30 or even 35, I don’t think I would have survived. I think I would have lost my identity and any shots for a career – and a lasting marriage.

While I wish I had that baby at 41 (and not lost all my lost pregnancies), I think I’m a much calmer, happier and involved mom than I would have been the decade prior.

What do you most want to teach your daughter? I want to teach her joy and perseverance.

What words of wisdom would you share with someone contemplating later in life motherhood? Go for it! 35 sounds young to me, and even 40 does. According to national fertility statistics, the only age of fertility rate increases are in the over 40 range (especially over 44, usually with donor eggs). I’m lucky enough to be in NYC where all my friends had babies later, so I would just say to make sure you find your people. You don’t want to be the only 40-year-old mom in a community of 25 year olds (or maybe you do!). Just ask yourself can I do this? And if the answer is yes, then go for it!

 

 

 


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Are You Single & Looking to Meet Someone? Or is There Someone Single in Your Life Who Needs Dating Advice?!


I am not only the founder of MotherhoodLater.com, but have worked for quite a number of years as a Love Coach for Singles, and have been seen on CNN, The Today Show, Good Day NY, and featured in the NY Times and beyond.  I work with women (and men) of all ages to help them lead fuller social lives by creating a strategic plan of action.

If you’ve found yourself frustrated with online dating, there are other activities you may pursue and actually enjoy, and that’s where I come in.  I can work in person or via the phone.  I am the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY  and How to Marry a Mensch, which is serving as the inspiration for the Off Broadway musical currently in development.  I may be reached at rgnewman@optonline.net.

Visit www.lovecoach.com for information including advice and articles. Autographed copies of my book are for sale.

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