Adventures in Attachment Parenting: I Love Being A Mom by Allison Silver
Happy Valentine’s Day to all you moms out there! I absolutely love being a Mom! It’s probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever know how much I would love it. Now don’t get me wrong, there are days when I am sleep deprived and my toddler is whining incessantly and I think to myself, “Remind me why I did this again?” But there are also the priceless moments, like watching my daughter take her first steps. These are the moments I live for and would never trade for anything!
I could never have imagined a few years ago how becoming a mom would radically change my life. Before I became pregnant I was working as a special education preschool inclusion specialist and I was working toward becoming an administrator. In fact, a month before I found out I was pregnant, I received the good news that I had passed my administrator’s exam! I was so excited. This is what I wanted, or so I thought. When I found out I was pregnant I was hell bent on not letting my pregnancy change anything. I even took a short term administrator assignment when I was five months pregnant.
I never once thought that I would give everything up to be a stay at home mom. But that is exactly what I did. After the baby was born I had planned on going back to work five months later. But in December around the two month mark, I realized that there was no way I could leave this baby. I just couldn’t do it. So I decided to take an extended leave for the rest of the school year. During my leave I provided consultation, but told everyone that I would be bringing the baby with me. I even taught a four hour professional development workshop one Saturday morning wearing my baby in a Moby style wrap the entire time!
Around the nine month mark, my feelings had not changed. In fact, they had intensified and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go back at the end of my leave. So with a heavy heart I announced that in June I would be resigning from my position with the school district. Everyone was shocked that I wasn’t coming back. I was shocked too. Although I wanted to stay home with my daughter, it was still hard to say goodbye. It was like giving up part of my identity that I had worked so long for. I had gone to school for years to be a teacher and now I was giving it all up. But I just had this nagging feeling that a Mom was what I was supposed to be right now.
I never could have imagined how much I would enjoy staying home. But I really do love it. I feel like this whole new part of me has been awakened. I really think I made the best decision for our family and I know that this decision would not have been an easy one to make if I had become a mom at a younger age. I think the younger me would never have entertained the idea of being a stay at home mom. In fact, the younger me may have even resented it. Whereas the older me cherishes every minute of it.
Our past experiences make us the moms we are today. And it’s because of my past experiences that I can feel confident and comfortable with my current path. I’m not exactly sure when or if I will return to the classroom. I don’t have any definite plans and it all depends on what feels right for our family. I do know that I will have the rest of my working life to teach if I choose to, but I won’t always have this time to be a Mom.