“Burdens” By: Lori j Loesch
What to write about today? My attitude. It’s been brought to my attention, that I make my daughter feel as though she’s a burden to me. Ouch, that hurts, really bad. I thought about that, before I went to bed last night. Is it because I’m an older mom? I thought that… I make everyone, I love, feel like a burden. Everything is a burden. Lay your burdens down and I will give ye rest, just came to my mind. It’s funny how God works in mysterious ways. Monday, as I was driving my daughter to her new charter school, she informed me that she may not stay. What?!! I thought it was a done deal. She’s a happier girl. She smiles more, laughs and jokes more. What happened? After I dropped her off, I couldn’t keep back my tears. I pulled off the road at the nearest, safest, place… it was a church. As I pulled up the driveway I read the sign, it read: Family Night Wednesday at 7:o0 pm. The parking lot was busy with cars dropping off children, there must be a child care or pre-school. I started the drive home. The radio that Faith and I listen to, has been playing boring music lately, so I started to channel surf. I kept coming to christian radio stations. Is God talking to me, and am I finally listening?
I’ve been looking in all the wrong places for help with my burdens. Self help, psychologist, anti-depressants, Chakra healing, etc. There’s no doctor, no pill that will cure what ails me. I need to look to God.
I believe, I will be a happier mom, wife, and person, when I get back to church, singing in the choir and volunteering. I gave all this up, when I became a mom at forty-two. I had this idea that, I was forty-two, I didn’t have any extra to give, so I gave everything, extra up.
When I go back to church and do the things that bring me joy, then I will feel less burdened, and my family will not think they are the reason for my heavy burden. Being around the church family will help me feel connected, and that I’m not alone. We are all, very much alike. We all have burdens.
I look forward to spring coming, it brings me hope that I will start to church, plant flowers and vegetables and be a happier soul. Do you think God really wants me to have a Mercedes two seater? I’ve been thinking and looking for one, a used one. A really weird thing happened to me yesterday. I was going through the radio channels, on my drive to pick up Faith at school, I know, still boring music. The dial stopped on a station that was broadcasting from a used car dealership. The salesman was talking about a 2005, Mercedes-Benz SLK 350 Convertible, Hardtop, low mileage, $15,995! I want to believe in “weird” things like this. I’m the type of person that, left to my own mind, I would have, had that car yesterday afternoon! It’s a sign. Ok…Now this is weird!!! I’m sitting here, typing my blog about this car…and a phone call comes in on my computer that I don’t recognize. I never pick up the phone on my computer. But, I did, and guess who it was? The car salesman from the used car dealership. I had called them this morning, there was no answer and I didn’t leave a message, but they returned my call at the exact second I was blogging about them! After I stop shaking…I’m going to pray about this one. I think my husband and I will look dapper in a little convertible, and we’re not getting any younger. Now how to convince him that it’s a good investment?