Eye Spy – On My Daughter by Dina Ramon
I have to admit something – I love to spy on my daughter. That may sound slightly devious or controlling but I admit it with the most heartfelt and sincere love imaginable. I take advantage of spying opportunities when I can because they don’t come along that often for me. I attribute that to a couple of things; one being that my daughter is an ‘only’ and except for when she is at school, I have her by my side or in my sights most of the time. And when she is in my sights we are often doing something together; not real conducive for spying. But she is now at that age where she likes some private time to read, draw stories, or hold court with her crew of stuffed animals and her favorite doll. To be able to capture those moments when I can observe my child in her own sphere of activity that doesn’t involve me is a special gift, and a reminder that she is growing up and forming her own identity. They are often brief moments when I can secretly watch her being ‘mom’ with her doll in the role of ‘daughter,’ or practicing her balance beam gymnastics moves on the living room floor. And now that her school play has wrapped, much to her dismay, she stands in front of her mirror pretending that she is performing in another production. I can’t help but smile as I see her focus on whatever it is she is doing. I enjoy watching her facial expressions while she is deep in thought or having a pretend conversation with one of her friends. Sometimes she catches me watching her, acts surprised, and just smiles back at me. And right then my time window of being completely in the moment watching her is gone, and I go back to what I was doing. I guess at some point she will consider my innocent spying an invasion of her privacy, but until that day comes I will enjoy my treasured, secret glimpses of my daughter being herself.