Seedlings: Funniest Things My Son Said Since Learning Words – By Amy Wall Lerman
Here are the funniest things my son has said since he first learned to use words:
2013 (5 years old)
-Mommy: “Evan, I know you’re not drawing on the floor with that red pencil…that would get you into some really big trouble, wouldn’t it?”
Evan (after a long pause and staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights): “Can I have an eraser?””
-Getting my wonderful 5 year old ready for bed…Evan said to his beloved mother on Valentine’s Day: “You’re despicable and you’re fired.”
-I started crocheting a blanket out of all my scraps of yarn. Evan saw me doing this and asked: “Mommy, what are you noodling? Can I noodle too?”
2012 (4 years old)
-After prying his mouth open and giving Evan a good dose of liquid Tylenol at 4a.m. due to a fever of 102, he said quite eloquently and with impeccable timing: “One of these days Mommy…One of these days….POW! Right in the Kissah!”
-Mommy: (as Evan put his finger in his mouth): “Don’t put your finger in your mouth.”
Evan: “Why? Was it made in China?”
2010 (3 years old)
-I thought my son was a genius by repeating the words, “Number 9” – a sophisticated Beatles fan? I pondered. Nope – just my husband’s order number at the Mickey Dee’s drive-thru. My son is a genius and an unwitting tattle-tale.
Amy Wall Lerman, Editor of the Motherhood Later Than Sooner eZine, Baby Bloomer, is a television news producer and writer. She is the author of several books including The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Critical Reading and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Family Games. Her poetry has been published in an online literary journal and she maintains her own blog called Dodillydo. Amy lives in New Jersey with her husband and 4-year old son.