I Got This by Lisa Kelly
I keep telling myself I can do this. I did this before. Not only did I do this, but I did it extraordinarily well. I never missed a day of work with my first child (despite having morning sickness until the 7th month). I was so good at this pregnancy thing that I worked on a Friday, went home and painted the porch in 90 degree heat, my water broke that night at midnight, and I had a beautiful baby boy at 5AM the next morning. Wait, there’s more. I had this baby with no pain medication then I took Sunday off from work and went back to work on Monday. I know, right? Superwoman!
Only not so super. I took no time to enjoy being pregnant, no time to labor through labor and most importantly, no time to rest and be with my new baby. I blazed through everything with such a will to be the best that I have very few memories from 19 years ago. It makes me sad to look through my son’s baby book and have no recollection of much of anything through his first year. I am doing it different this time. I am reading about each stage of pregnancy. I write about each week in a journal. I still haven’t missed work but I am allowing myself to rest, be a little uncomfortable without powering through it, and I spend time each day just sitting in the quiet, talking to my belly.
I’m enjoying the lessons this time around; even the unpleasant ones. We took a trip this past holiday weekend to do some fishing, wade in the river, and relish in peace and quiet for awhile. The drive there was to be about 4 hours but took over 6 due to frequent potty breaks. If you need recommendations on good, clean bathrooms across north Texas, I’m you’re gal! We even made two stops in the same town. This baby girl gets quite agitated when my bladder nudges her up out of her comfy place and lets me know by playing kick ball with it. In my previous pregnancy, I would have dehydrated a little in order to get from Point A to Point B quicker. This time I’m slowing down and taking in every little bit.
That’s not to say there haven’t been moments… like on our trip when I couldn’t scurry straight up a mountain path. The worst was getting into a paddle boat for a leisurely float in the river only to discover I couldn’t get out. My fierce independence reared it’s ugly head as I tried desperately to climb out, back out, flop out… anything but accept the helping hands stretched out to me. Baby girl gave me a swift kick to the belly button to let me know she was not happy with my jarring attempts to get up on the dock. I gave in and grabbed a hand. I was frustrated but I had done it. I accepted help and the world kept turning.