I Have Been a Hypocrite By: Lori J Loesch
I am a hypocrite. I have been walking around like a poor little church mouse. I am not a poor church mouse. I was, and then God raised me up to be a wealthy woman. I must share my story so that others will have Hope in God.
I dropped off clothes at Goodwill. I decided to go into the store and buy a dress for Faith and me. The school Christmas Choir was that evening and we had just gotten back from a cruise in the Caribbean. I had precious little time for running around town to look for a couple of dresses. As I was waiting in line to pay for the five dresses I found, my son texted me to pick up some items for dinner. His boyfriend and he were going to prepare dinner for the family.
Later that night, after the concert, and while they were making dinner, I asked if they liked my Talbots dress? Then as the humble bumble that I am, I said that I bought it at Goodwill. Jules’ boyfriend said, “I know.” I looked at him in a quizzical way, how? He said that it was he that was texting me while I was waiting in line to pay for the dresses. So he is an imposter. Did Jules tell you what to type? No, was his reply.
In the words of Gavin DeGraw, “I’m surrounded by liars, imposters, identity crisis.” I do not know who to trust. No one really.
I fell asleep and had the most disturbing dreams. They lasted all night, and made me cry as I awoke. What do these dreams mean? I came up with several answers, one being that I am a hypocrite, trying to fit in by not wearing the diamonds and furs that my husband and I worked hard to get. There have been many times that I have turned my ring around to hide it, so as not to make the person I was talking with feel badly. Who am I? My husband carries tremendous stress on his shoulders, to make our business run like a well oiled machine. I deserve the fruits of his labor.
God has raised me up from the poor pauper, abused child, used adult, to a wealthy, powerful, God loving woman, mother! Why would I hide it under a bushel? Let your little diamonds shine! After all, they are not mine, they belong to God, my maker.
I have been living this life of hiding, for several years, and I have no friends. I thought I did, I called them friends, they are not. I have downplayed that I live in a 6,ooo sq. foot home, that Loesch Construction built. I bought a Subaru, instead of an Audi 7. I wanted to fit in, I wanted the other moms in the community to like me. So, how’s this working for me? Not very well.
God can lift you up from where ever you are. Trust in him, and exclaim, at the top of the rooftops, what HE has done! Money doesn’t buy you happiness and neither does sunshine. I have always believed that the overcast skies of Central Pa have made me unhappy. Well, I just took a nine day cruise to the sunny Caribbean, and I was as miserable as I could have been. It’s not the warmth, it’s not the money. Being content comes from within. It comes with you, where ever you go.
I thank God for all that I have. I even thank him for the small stuff, like a warm shower in the morning!