Menopausal Mayhem! – by Cara Potapshyn Meyers
“Holy Guacamole!” Or something along those lines, I exclaimed, about a week and a half ago. Substitute “Guacamole” with a word that begins with the letter “S” and then it would be a direct quote.
This Saturday would have been the six month mark for me not getting my period. Except for the fact I woke up that morning and noticed “staining.” My world toppled over. Had it not been that two doctors and a blood test result indicated that I was “postmenopausal,” I probably would have grunted and grumbled and gone on my way. Instead, I raced to my cell phone and texted all of my close friends, writing in all caps, “NO!!!! NO!!!! NO, NO, NO NO!!!!” followed by what I had just observed.
All of these close friends are going through various stages of peri-menopause. A couple of them younger than me a couple a year or two older. They all asked me at some point during the past six months, “What is it like??” “Is it worse than not having your period?” “Do you have any symptoms like dry skin or course hair?” My response was…Nirvana. Bliss. The closest I have ever come to “heaven.” Of course, that certainly didn’t help any of my “peri” friends. But, for me, it was the honest truth. My body abhorred having fluctuating hormones. Now it was in a state of peaceful calm. The roaring seas had finally settled into a lovely, glistening lake.
Each response I got back was supportive and understanding. But none of my friends could truly understand how devastating this was for me. I touched a slice of heaven. It felt like looking at that rainbow I wrote about several weeks ago. A beautiful and miraculous act of nature. Blown to pieces by the sight of staining.
I don’t even know if the staining I had would even be considered a “period.” I’ll be asking my Gynocologist next week. I barely had to use a pantyliner and it lasted three days. Is that a “period??” My Endocrinologist, who I saw this morning, and treats me for my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, said that my body probably just needed to “clean itself out.” Still and all, he said I have to begin counting again. A whole year of not seeing a speck of anything, even sludge, before I can say I went through “menopause.” I’ll confirm this with my GYN next week because my lab work still indicated clearly that I was in the “post-menopausal” range. I will keep you apprised.
I feel blessed that I almost reached my six month mark. Perhaps I can now go beyond the next six months. There are many indications that it is possible. Still, I had plans formulating for a celebration if I had made it to April. I wanted to take every one of my friends out, peri-menopausal or having already gone through menopause, and drinks would have been “on the house!” I was going to dance until sunrise! I would be free of this wretched curse that has plagued me since I was eleven years old!
Oh, well. More time for me to plan, I guess. And maybe, by then, some of my “peri” friends will have touched their own slice of heaven and will be able to appreciate my rejoice even that much more! It would be a little celebration for them too! They are all “suffering” right now. I completely and thoroughly understand. From my experience, it does get worse before it decides to “quit.” Albeit, temporarily.
I still can’t help feeling frustrated. Having to “count” again. But, my body is back to it’s “nirvana.” It is happy and content. We all still have to be thankful for our blessings, however fleeting or inconsistent they may be.
Today is day number 12. Three hundred, fifty-three more days to go. Sigh.