Where There’s a Will
It’s not something I like to think about or talk about. And, I don’t embrace writing about it. But, I wanted to share with you a couple of discussions that recently came up with mom friends, both of whom are 40 something, like myself.
We were out to dinner with a family that has a three year old, and the subject of camp came up. As you know from my previous blog post, my husband and I have been visiting various summer camps and debating where to send Seth this year. Thankfully, we have made a decision on that front, and now it’s just a question of how long we are sending him for.
In taking about it with these friends, they said that they, too, have signed their son up for camp, and there is the option that most camps offer of having him bused. It is not in their town, and would probably be about a 20 minutes bus ride, depending on how many children also have to be picked up/dropped off.
I recalled when Seth first got on the bus to go to nursery school. He was 3.5. I cried after he left, but he had a total blast. I got tearful because it was hard to believe he was capable of going on a bus without me. When I shared with these friends my experience and how Seth adored it, the mom said that wasn’t her concern. She was worried for his safety. Who is the bus driver? she asked. What kind of driver is he? etc….etc. Her preference was to have her stay-at-home-husband drive him back ‘n forth to the camp they selected.
When Seth first got bused, we met the driver and spoke to the school about it, and basically put our trust in this man. Thankfully, it has been ok, and he is Seth’s driver again this year.
Then, we had lunch with a mom friend and her four year old twins. She was talking about taking a drive with her husband to go to a meeting they both had to attend. Her children didn’t need to be there and could potentially be left home with the nanny, but she opted to take them. Then, she made a comment that I found a bit intriguing/surprising. She said she wanted to take them with her in case something happened. That she and her husband don’t typically do things just the two of them without the kids for that reason.
To be honest, I didn’t know how to respond. I asked, you mean that if G-d forbid you got into a car accident and got killed that you’d want your children to die with you? Not that she is a doom ‘n gloom person and was anticipating this, but yes, that was her thought.
Then I asked, do you have wills? Have you provided for your children? Do you know who would care for them if something did happen to you and your husband? She said no.
Marc, my husband, and I, invested in hiring an attorney last year to draw up wills for us and other paperwork so that we know Seth will be secure, if need be. It is not something pleasant to discuss, and it led us to really examine who is in our lives and who we would want to raise Seth if we were gone. I don’t want to think about that. Who does? Mortality? That’s a hard nut to swallow. But, I do at least have the peace of mind to know that we’ve put things in place for Seth.
This leads me to the question…shouldn’t we all as parents?! Isn’t it our responsibility to have a will and whatever else is necessary, for our children’s sake? Sure we want them to be safe, but there’s only so much we can do.