Why is it that a Mum, always wants a baby in-tow? By Lori Loesch
Why is it that when I see a baby, I can hardly contain myself? Not really, but I love babies. That baby love. Baby talk. Now, I know I would be over the edge, at my age, but there’s just something about a little baby, looking up into your eyes… It’s a lot of work as well. I don’t remember that! They grow so fast.
I do remember, long winters, spent inside, at my wits end, with a toddler. Thinking, to myself, “I can’t wait ’till they’re older.” Or until spring arrives! Then all was well. But those long days of winter, were trying. Now that my daughter is 10, I can’t imaging where the days went. I love her. She’s 10, and a fine young girl. Her friends are fine young ladies. They care about each other and are there for their classmates. We have a great group of friends!
Someone said that grandkids are what people my age look forward to. She didn’t know that I have a 10 year old, she does now! She said, “oh that wouldn’t be good!” No, not good at all. Faith had a friend over the other day, I asked, out of curiosity, how old her dad was? She told me…then I did the math…thanks to core math! Her dad is 20 years younger than my husband! I’m 7 years younger than my husband, whew…I have a few years on him, but, twenty, 20 years! We are grandparents! I never really felt that way, and I don’t want to, but what would a grandmother be doing? That question is irrelevant. I’m not Faith’s grandma, and David’s not her granddad.
I think the moment I realized my age, and where I put myself, at this old age, was when Faith was just a month old, or so. I was holding her in my arms, feeding her, loving every minute of it. Then I looked out the front window, of our living room. There, in all her glory, was my son’s, friend’s, mom. She was my husbands age, ten years older than me, and looked like a teenager. She was running down the sidewalk, ponytail rolling around as she stepped. Oooo…that was the moment…that awful, rotten moment, when I realized where I put us in our life. Diapers, bottles, diaper bags, strollers. At that moment, I was very much aware of my age. BUT; I didn’t feel like, what I thought, a 42 year old would feel like. I felt just as young as when I had my son, 11 years before, at age 32, better, even! I was in better, physical, and mental shape. My son was 11, not a toddler, and was a very helpful son and brother.
It took a lot to shake the way she made me feel. Or the way I allowed myself to feel when I saw her. Fast forward a few years, we moved far, far, away. I saw her one day, she asked how I was, and did I get a job, because my flower garden was in such ruin. She had just moved out of her mini-mansion, in one of the top developments. The home she probably thought she and her family would live in forever. Her husband had just retired. She moved into a town home. She said, “you gotta do what you gotta do.” She was right. And it’s ok, to save your family and move into a smaller home, if that helps. I, on the other hand, did not get a job. My flower garden was in ruin, because we moved into, just like her a few years earlier, our mini mansion, on lots of acreage, on farm land, woodland, meadow land.
This is why I must be happy and content, where ever I am in life. I used to think of Paul the apostle, who, even in jail, was content. I wanted to be like that. I can’t look at others and think that they have it all together. I am 52 years of age. I have a 10 year old. It is my destiny and I’ll embrace it. I struggled for years, with how I should act, I had already gone through raising a child, could I be allowed to go back and do it again? With all the zest and zeal that my firstborn received? Yes, I can! I threw away the old me, and I’m diving into the cold water at the local swimming pool. I’m talking to the kids at the pool. I guess I felt that I could sit by the side and do…nothing. That was not me. I guess I don’t care, No, scratch that, I do care, and that’s exactly why I am clowning around with my second born, and having the time of my life! I don’t care what the people say, anymore. I’m me, I’m free, and I’m enjoying life with my young one.
Driving with all the windows down! And our heads out the windows!