5 Tips for Moms and Dads on How to Learn Your Children’s Love Language by Later Dad Balint Horvath


Your role as a parent involves doing so much including giving them loads of love. But, how do you know what love language your child uses especially in those first few years of being a new parent? It can get even more confusing as your child grows older.

I’m fortunate enough to be one of those stay-at-home fathers who gets to spend a few days a week with our toddler daughter. When it came to understanding how my daughter responded to love, I became more aware of how she interpreted the love language.

Through certain cues, I’ve been able to not only give her the love that she adores and builds her self-esteem. But, I’m also able to understand how she expresses love in her own little language.

If you’ve been wondering how to interpret your children’s love language, here are 5 tips to get you started. Each child is different so you may find your child is more open to expressing their love language in one or two particular ways. The same applies when they receive love.

Tip #1: Children Love Physical Touch

It was early on in my daughter’s life during diaper changing that I realized she loved having her feet and tummy rubbed gently. Her response to this form of physical touch indicated she was content and happy.

Physical touch is one of the most common ways we show our love for someone. Does your child love to sit on your lap, is always hugging you, or likes to snuggle up close while you’re reading to them? He or she is expressing their love for you through physical touch.

Tip #2: Words of Affirmation Are Empowering (no matter what age)

Children, especially younger kids, respond positively to words of affirmation. When my daughter was going through potty training, she felt very proud when I told her how well she was doing. These words encouraged her to do better and now she’s a very independent little potty user!

Your child may not be big on physical touch but she has no problem telling you verbally how much she loves you. An older child may even write little notes to you expressing her love. This kind of love language is based on using words of affirmation to show love.

Tip #3: Spend Quality Time with Your Children

Most kids love it when their parents spend quality time with them. Even more so when it’s just dad or mom taking time out to do something with them. Saturdays with my daughter are spent getting into the car and going exploring. We may decide to spend a few hours at a newly discovered playground or walking around a lake.

If you notice your child needs more individual time with you, understand this is their way of feeling loved. Quality time is also the ideal time for teaching your child about the nuances of relationships and how to interact with another person in a positive and constructive manner.

Tip #4: Surprise Your Child with Little Gifts

Giving and receiving gifts is a wonderful exercise in expressing love for each other. If your child loves to surprise you with little gifts, then you know that this is their form of love language. You can teach them about giving and receiving from a young age.

We learned early on that our daughter loves McDonald’s toys that come with a Happy Meal! These little “surprise” gifts thrilled her every time. Even during the COVID pandemic, we make an effort to go once a month so she can get her surprise gift. You may be surprised actually about these toys’ intricate designs.

Tip #5: Show Your Children Acts of Service

Acts of service are a very powerful form of love language. Parents show this in so many ways – by repairing their child’s broken toy, making their kid’s favorite meal, or helping them pack their school bag.

If your child likes to help carry your handbag, or bring in the groceries then her form of love language is based on acts of service. She may even express it by taking an elderly person’s hand and helping them across the road.

Final Thoughts

By observing your own child’s love language you’ll be able to express your love for them in a way that makes them respond most positively. Your love language may be different from your child’s but taking the time to understand them goes a long way to building up their own confidence.

Through love, you can empower your children to form healthy relationships and develop strong and positive communication skills. Children learn best from the actions their parents take so don’t hold back on showing your child the 5 different ways of giving and receiving love.

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