Finding a Pwesent for Dada by Melissa Swedoski

If you go trolling around the Internet – you know, for fun in your spare time – you’ll find a lot of information on being a mom. Meaning, more information than you ever wanted to know on more topics than you ever thought possible. Turns out, the same can almost be said for being a dad, especially with the growing number of SAHDs out there and even more writing their own blogs. Impertinent, I know. Blogging territory is for girls. We had clearly posted the “No Boys Allowed” sign, but they probably tore it down.

Since Father’s Day is right around the corner, and my husband went above and beyond for Mother’s Day by crafting me a personalized card out of photos of our babies (I know, I was crying and laughing all at the same time), the pressure is on to at least match that gift, if not just beat it. Well, that’s what he would do. Trust me, the guy is competitive about who can pee faster, much less who is the better gift giver.

There’s the usual – BBQ related stuff, beer drinking related stuff, ties, baseball game tickets, iPad/Phone/Pod/whatever else Apple has invented stuff, and of course, golfing and/or fishing and hunting stuff. I can honestly say that after eight and a half years of marriage, if I brought any of that home for my hubs, he’d 1) smile politely, 2) raise his eyebrows, 3) say something like, “Um, this is…nice.”, or 4) (the most likely) say, “But where’s my real present?”

The terrible truth is, what do you give the man who has it all? I mean, he’s got me and the two best baby girls in the world. Why would he need anything else? Ah, I kid, I kid. I know for sure he would want a dvd copy of “Skyfall.” No, that’s me. Okay, he’d want a gift card to go clothes shopping. No, no, that’s me again. Oh, I’ve got it! He would want a new pair of black sandals. Ah, yes, well, I think I might be better at my wish list than his.

It would help if the girls could give me better gift ideas than, “Daddy?” or “Dadadadadada.” Yes, I know his name, too, but what I’m looking for is a present idea. “Pwesent?” Yes, that’s what I need. “Me?” No, no, for dad. “Daddy?” Sigh.

What I really wish I could give my husband for Father’s Day is someone to come in and give him a break from his responsibilities, at least for a day. Someone to finish the bar on the porch, someone to clean the pool, someone to take out the trash, someone to kill the bugs, someone to replace the batteries, someone to prepare our meals. There’s more, like taking care of our 1 year old in the middle of the night and making our girls laugh until they lose breath, but I can’t imagine anyone else in the world doing those things, so that’s where I’ll draw the line with the personal butler.

The truth is, no gift I can give would be better than the gifts he gives us each day: security, strength, courage, laughter, airplane rides, swing pushes, fun swims, yummy meals and love, endless, bountiful love. But breakfast in bed probably would be nice. Oh, butler?

Tags: babies, children, Father's, funny, gifts, humor, love, mothers, toddlers, wacky gifts