Random Thoughts of a Mom’s Mind by Sharon O’Donnell

Women multi-task. It’s a known fact. That means all kinds of thoughts are running
through a woman’s mind at any one time – thoughts that are probably not connected to each other at all. The thoughts are even more random when a woman becomes a mom. Then it really gets crazy. So here’s a window into those thoughts:

1. If anything ever happens to me, please tell someone in my family to give the dog his heartworm medicine on the 24th of each month.

2. How did spaghetti sauce get on our family room ceiling?

3. One of the best ways to learn patience is to live in the same house with a fourth grader who is practicing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” on the recorder.

4. The day you run a quick errand while wearing no make-up is the day you’ll run into an old boyfriend.

5. I firmly believe in having at least one phone attached to the wall.
6. If you dig around in the bottom of your purse long enough, you’re bound to find a mint.

7. Who among us women didn’t want to hear Hillary Clinton say when asked on the campaign trail what she would do if elected President, “Well the first thing I’m going to do is get a really hot male intern.”?

8. How did we get thirteen toothbrushes in our toothbrush holder when there are only five of us in the house?

9. Reason number one I’d love to be a man: to be able to take a shower, get dressed in 30 seconds, to not have to put on make-up, a bra, or panty hose and be out the door looking presentable within five minutes.

10. Reason number two I’d love to be a man: to go to a public restroom and not have to pee hovering over the toilet. ‘Hover mode’ is not good for the knees.

11. Don’t you just loathe the phrase, “Bring a covered dish to share.”?

12. I’m tired of all those magnified pictures of dust mites that make the damn things look like Godzilla about to take over the earth. I don’t need to feel that guilty about dust.

13. I hate 7th grade math.