Guest Blog Post: My Facebook Truth by Bren Romano Monteiro

Gosh. Sometimes I see those “I know you’re real life doesn’t look like your Facebook one” meme’s that keep coming up and I think “oh no! I’m sure everyone thinks that’s me with my cutesy non-stop kid photos and happy-go-luckiness.”

But it’s not me.

My life really does look like that.

Sometimes. Brief moments. The odd Tuesday when both kids are behaving and getting along and I just served myself a cup of coffee and I remember I have a piece of left over cake.

It’s just what I choose to post.

And I won’t ever have an issue with your posting the best of your life. I don’t know that anyone wants to hear my complaints and my minutiae. It’s a choice I make.

No one wants to hear me say how exhausting it is to be 49 with a toddler that  n e v e r  stops moving and is in full “no” mode.

No one wants to know that I had no adult conversation for three days this week because my husband works hard too and sometimes at the end of the day we have nothing more left than a nod and a smile and we want to watch Dr Who in silence. Blessed Whovian silence.

But, yes…if you must know…My garage looks like Sanford and Sons…My body is hitting 50 like a wrecking ball with a sell-by-date. I have paint in my hair every. single. freaking. day. because I am on a mission to repaint our house and I can only do it in 5-minute increments – so it’s going to take me roughly three years. The laundry is about four days past ripe but I bought cute hampers so it’s ok. My floors are frankly, unspeakably dirty and the maid called in sick for the 2,157th day in a row. I have no idea what is for dinner and these people insist on eating like, three times a day at least. Plus snacks. Amazon brings me huge boxes of diapers because I am incapable of going to the store with enough frequency to handle anything more than basic needs like chocolate and cheese sticks. I keep buying plants and keep not watering them. My sweet, sweet dog has separation anxiety and keeps upping the ante of misbehavior because he doesn’t think I should ever leave the house, or the room, or be more than three feet away from him. There’s a snake in our yard that thinks I’m his friend and refuses to go away and I kind of like his level of commitment. I volunteered to be Room Mom by mistake. On Tuesday the toddler decided I needed to hold him the entire day, so I did. I have a list of very important things to do and I have no idea where it is because I get carried away with my organizing.

There…does that make anyone feel like I am more real?

It’s a choice you get to make on Facebook.

There are those that use FB for those witticisms that I love, or gorgeous photography both local and of your marvelous travels. There are those that just want to show us what they made for dinner or their perfect manicures. No criticism.

And those that yes, use it to vent.

To each his own.

Show me the good or the bad, the funny or the sad, the clever or the ugly. Show me your politics or your worries. Show me who you want me to see and I will see you as that because I know that some days we all just need to be seen.

I see you.

Let’s remember that even when we think no one is looking, someone is.

And instead of showing you the big pile of crap my sweet, sweet rescue dog left for me in the sunroom, I choose to show you my adorable kids – and my happiness – and my light.

Because we already have plenty of crap in all of our lives.

Bren Romano Monteiro is a “later” mother, writer, and producer with 25 years in the broadcast TV and advertising industries. She’s fluent in Spanish and Toddler, loves historical fiction, and hopes to one day actually write that book she keeps talking about. She currently lives in suburban Charleston, South Carolina with her husband, two kids, and a lovable mutt.

Tags: FaceBook, later motherhood, raising a family, social media