Meet Later Mom Cindy Mich
AGE: 50
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: In A Relationship
RESIDENCE: Split Time Between Wisconsin and NYC
I have been a writer for over 20 years, as well as an award-winning journalist and active media personality. I contribute to various online and offline platforms, and my radio shows, Cin’s Chat Corner and Sons Spotlight, hold a total of 95,000 listeners including an international following. I am CEO of my writing/editing business, Cin’s Sweet Creations, and have taught creative writing, publishing, and broadcasting. I am the founder of the NYC based independent film festival, Art is Alive, now in its fourth year. More recently, I gained the title of filmmaker and casting director, and create/cast cabaret/burlesque shows Off-Broadway, and I founded indie TV network, CIN TV, which streams indie productions. Finally, I have partnered on a new clothing line called MG Frocks. Visit www.cinssweetcreations.yolasite.com.
Tell us about your path to parenthood. My path to becoming a parent was not the norm, however, I have never regretted my choices or how my children came to be in this world. Since I was basically thrown out at age 17 by my father, I had to find my own way. Sometimes, your journey finds you juggling various jobs, along with trying to stay off the streets and be safe. I have had my share of unstable relationships and making mistakes, and lacking support and structure from my family did not make me stronger. So, I was in my early twenties when I became pregnant with my first child. The father and I could not sustain a sound relationship, and this saddens me because of course, the child is always affected. I went on to marry once, and that brought with it the blessings of two more children. Then, just when I said to myself, I am done having babies – boom! I got pregnant at 36.
How does motherhood influence your work? I tend to believe that being a mother has made everything in my life better, and especially within my professional world. I have come to see over time that my children are impressed and inspired by what I do as a day job. One of my sons is starting to show interest in being behind a camera, while the other may actually pursue an acting path. My daughter used to not understand some of my behaviors in and out of an office, and now implements some of the same mindsets and mantras in her own life. Securing strong support from my children has allowed me to write better, work harder, and see myself as a person worthy of success. They also push me to accomplish more so I can manage to serve as an even better role model for them.
What led you to launch Art is Alive? If you ask those closest to me, my personal mantra is: if I am not happy with how something is being done, I do better by creating it on my own. I did not like how talk radio was being done, so I started two of my own shows. I saw a shift in responsible and relevant journalism, so I started contributing to publications with purpose who would allow me to print accurate, astounding pieces. I began to act as a film judge back in 2014, which led to my attending and covering indie film festivals. I started to see how these events had become all about red carpets, celebrity appearances, and the personal politics – but not about the art in cinema. That is the moment Art is Alive was founded. Less celebrity and red carpets; more about honoring the czars of independent cinema. Give filmmakers and fans a chance to mesh and make dreams happen. Show worthy work by astounding artisans. Each year, the feedback is better and better, and filmmakers who meet at the festival go on to work on creating new films together. 2019 also had me hosting a filmmaker who traveled 30 hours from India to NYC just to attend – that speaks volumes as to the festival’s success.
What advice would you offer to multi-tasking, overwhelmed “later” moms? I do think that three tidbits of advice apply to any mom who is feeling overwhelmed. Number one is to keep telling yourself every day “If my child is happy, then I am happy.” As mothers, I believe that we convince ourselves that we are never doing enough for him/her. Sometimes, they are pacified by the smallest things, but we may not see this. Hence, if you are seeing smiles and they feel secure, that will eliminate some worry. Secondly, take note of those around you who do or do not consistently offer to help or check on your family. Lean on anyone who is willing to make your life simpler or more stable, and take caution not to expect efforts from the latter. There is no shame in seeking out assistance whenever you feel frustrated or fed up. Third of all, if it feels like too much, it truly is. If you are waking up overly anything in the morning, that is your body and brain telling you to slow down. Set a realistic standard of accomplishments for yourself each day, and if you keep exceeding it, hold yourself accountable for your own actions.
Do you think it’s tough to balance parenting, a personal life, and professional pursuits? One word – absolutely. However, the operative word there is tough, and not impossible. Managing any phase of one’s life successfully takes time, true patience, and persistence. So, in order to find a healthy balance, take a few things into consideration. Your role is parent is always primary – it outranks everyone and everything. Hence, for any daily decision you have to make, ask yourself: if I do this, will I be making a choice that in any way is harmful to my child? Now, every mother/father is entitled to a personal life because being with your child 24/7 is not healthy, nor is being gone day and night. It is important to make time for dating and doing things with friends and family. Professionally speaking, I suggest setting your goals to a level where you are able to support your family while fostering your dreams. The reality is that all of us parents are going to end up feeling guilty any time we are away from home doing anything. Therefore, designate a healthy percentage to personal/professional choices, but remember to respect parental obligations within that chosen percent.
What do you do to practice self-care and de-stress? Honestly, of all the things in life that I need to focus on finding more time for, it is self-care. By nature, I think parents in general are self-sacrificing to a point where they are always less of a priority. Usually, it takes something scary or substantial to happen for us to take our needs seriously. In my case, health concerns came up, and I was forced to take some steps to be better to myself. I now take vitamins, walk daily, and have also curtailed my diet to include food that is low in carbs and cholesterol. I made a promise to take one hour a day for me time. Also, I am working harder on avoiding unnecessary drama by fighting only the battles that need to be fought. Finally, I am fortunate enough to have found a partner who forces me to take care of me, and lets me “lose my shit” as needed. He is my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and a strong shoulder. When all else fails, wine never hurts!
What do you see as the positives and challenges of having a child at age 35 or over? I think there is a plethora of things on both sides of this “family fence”. As to positives, well, a child being born at any age is a blessing. They allow us to view life and love differently, and even more so at a later age. As we mature, we forget the little things, and children remind us of the miracles. I tend to believe most of us get more patient as we age, so it is easier to deal with things like crying, lack of sleep, and dirty diapers. If you have had more than one child, you now have a built-in babysitter. Further, if the child happens to get sick or has an accident, you are less likely to experience overall fright and full on panic. You are less likely to get as frazzled or wound up with worry, as youth brings inexperience and immaturity. As to challenges, you will be raising children for a longer period of your life span, so this can prevent you from taking on long term commitments, less travel, and less overall freedom. Physically, it is harder on women to carry babies as they age, so there could be some risk factors. Moreover, your body does not bounce back as well after childbirth, as when you are in your twenties, the belly goes flatter much faster and weight loss is easier at an earlier age.
What do you most want to teach your four children? Because I came from a home that was missing presence and praise, it is hugely important to me that my children realize and remember they are never alone nor absent of approval. I purposely make it a point to remind them that they are largely loved and enhance my entire world. If they happen to be out of the house by their father, I find ways to stay present, whether that be in a love note, little text messages, or even email. Each day, I try my best to be in their ear to say, hey you, I am proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. I ask them all of the time – do you know what I like about you? They love that my response is: EVERYTHING. I want them to understand that they matter and make a huge difference to me and so many. Finally, it is hugely important to me that each of my children chooses a career path that allows them to do their passion, not just push a pencil. Follow your dreams and never doubt yourself.
What words of wisdom would you share with someone contemplating motherhood over age 35? The biggest bit of wisdom that I could share is simply that being a parent at a later age has a great deal of good points that are harder to gain when younger. First of all, you are more mature as a person, and that allows for one to make sounder, more solid decisions. Secondly, if you have had other children in the past, you have learned a number of lessons you can contribute to your new child. Thirdly, I believe you are less afraid of being a parent because you possess less insecurity and instability. The only precautionary point I would bring up is that being a mother at an older age can bring about more physical complications for some females. So, be prepared to adjust your schedule and your life structure, should this possibility become a probability.
Tags: cindy mich, family of four, having kids, healthy living for later moms, motherhood, parenting, raising a family
