Barely Visible by Kathleen Somers (Book Excerpt)

CHAPTER 21

Strange New World

As a toddler, Jack had been tough. As a young boy, he had graduated to complete pain in the ass. Still, he was young enough that you could write it off as him being one of “those” kids, a lot to handle. At least through middle school, guardrails were still on the alley. With Andrew, Jack’s teachers and coaches, and me, there was enough adult supervision and intervention to keep Jack on a straight path. Patiently camped out in the back of my mind was a naive notion that eventually he would grow out of this maelstrom. His strange behaviors would evaporate, and until then I would continue making excuses. I had become masterful at predicting bad situations and defusing every bomb before inevitable detonation. I would immediately remove Jack from any equation if the results weren’t adding up as they should. But the older Jack got, the more firmly rooted he was in his unique grade of soil. He wasn’t growing out of anything. Jack rolled right into high school with all the same patterns.

As weary as I was of explaining away his behavior, I would gladly continue doing it to avoid the alternative. Sending Jack off to high school—alone—felt like feeding him to the wolves. In high school, he would have no protection from the strange looks and annoyed reac- tions. No one would be there to make excuses and coerce the general population into accepting him. Jack’s Asperger syndrome no longer translated to simple disruption. It now defined him in the worst possible way for this temperamental age group. When fitting in is the primary objective, being different is a death blow, and “different” was the only way to define Jack. Still, I was hopeful. A larger pool of kids would surely offer more opportunities for connection.

“My friend from school asked me if I want to hang out tonight. He invited me to go out to dinner with his family. Is that okay?” Jack said one Friday afternoon shortly after the start of his freshman year. “Friend, what friend?” I asked, hoping my surprise wasn’t evident.

“Kevin. He said it’s okay with his parents.”

As Jack provided more details, I quickly thought it over. I had no idea who Kevin was, but there must be something wrong with him if he wants to hang out with Jack, and if there isn’t, it’s just a matter of time before he changes his mind. Oh God, do I really have that little faith in my son? What happened to my hopeful outlook? Not wanting to squash his excitement, I gave Jack permission to go. How bad could it be?

“Where are you having dinner?” I asked. “Sushi Ginza.”

“Are you aware that Sushi Ginza is a Japanese restaurant? You can’t get a burger and wings, or spaghetti and meatballs, at a Japanese restaurant.”

“That’s okay,” Jack replied without flinching.

“What will you eat?” I grabbed my laptop, pulled up the restau- rant’s menu, and searched it for a suitable replacement for Jack’s standard fare. “Get the chicken teriyaki,” I instructed and sent him on his way.

Much to my delight, Jack’s evening with his new friend was a success, so much so that he was invited to spend the night. Grateful though I was, I was skeptical. The only thing that had ever been of permanence in Jack’s world was baseball. But when I arrived to collect him the following day, I was met with the news that Kevin had invited him to come back once Jack was done with his game that afternoon. I couldn’t have been more wrong in my initial assessment of this bur geoning friendship, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Had Jack actually managed to establish a real friendship, someone with whom he could develop a bond, with whom he could experi- ence all the ins and outs, ups and downs of his high school years? Someone with whom his connection would grow so deep that their relationship would continue throughout college and for all the years to come, taking fishing trips together, being in each other’s wedding parties and godfather to one another’s kids? Is this really happening? I wondered.

Okay, I was getting carried away, but a mother can hope, can’t she? Remarkably, my hope wasn’t completely misplaced. What began with one dinner out and one overnight quickly developed into a string of weekend gatherings and sleepovers. Jack was soon spending every weekend at Kevin’s. I offered numerous times to reciprocate, but Kevin’s house was always the center of activity. After seeing it for the first time, I could understand why. It clearly had far more to offer than our modest split-level. With more boys added to the mix, week after week, I was happy to allow Kevin’s parents to manage the festivities. Kevin and Jack were soon joined by Logan and Connor, twin brothers from school; Anthony, one of Jack’s intramural team- mates; and eventually Thomas. I had no interest in hosting half a dozen fourteen-year-old boys, weekend after weekend—a generous gift card for Kevin’s parents would express our gratitude nicely.

After several successful months, it seemed as though Jack had settled into an unexpected social groove, forming a solid pack with Kevin, Thomas, and the others. I truly couldn’t believe it. I sincerely hoped it would last.

I regretfully accepted that it wouldn’t.

About the Author

Kathleen Somers, a first-time author, holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts from Temple University’s Tyler School of Art. She is a freelance graphic designer and copywriter, as well as an avid cyclist. She lives with her family in Berwyn, Pennsylvania. www.kathleensomers.com