Selfish Summer—by Jamie Levine

Before I had Jayda, I used to take two-week adventure travel vacations, during which time the days blurred together and I never knew if it was a Monday or a Thursday or a Sunday. But since my current overscheduled, school-plus-work-plus-Jayda-filled life has forced me to stay on top of everything and to plan what’s happening every minute of every day, it’s been a long time since I’ve forgotten what day it is. Then this summer began: While I do have a bit of freelance work to do, and four days a week during which I am obligated to entertain Jayda—days which I always keep jam-packed with fun activities—I also have quite a bit of free time for myself. And sometimes, I even forget what day it is. It’s amazing.

When the beginning of this summer first approached, I’d feared it: Months before, I’d made plans to spend much of my free time with Library Guy—who also had this summer off—and worried that following our break up, summer would only bring me too much time during which to think about him (and to be a miserable, crying mess). But I’m over that now. I now realize my greatest revenge on Library Guy is to experience bliss without him. So I’ve challenged myself to have an amazing, fun-filled, selfish summer—to do all the things I’ve missed doing for myself while I was immersed in the last few stress-filled semesters—and years. So far, I’ve gone to the movies during the day with a friend, spent hours on the beach (with adult companions—sans Jayda!), read countless trashy novels, dined on lobster for lunch on an outdoor veranda with a friend, traveled to the city to see much-missed former colleagues and acquaintances for meals and cocktails, and have been flirting up a storm and dating as much as I can: I even drove to Connecticut for a mid-day blind date with a guy who already jokingly calls my parents his “future in-laws.” We’ll see about that…

Of course I’m also using some of my time in practical, not-so-exciting ways: I’m going to all of my annual dentist and doctor’s appointments, enjoy almost-daily workouts that are making me stronger than ever, save money on food-shopping by schlepping around to a variety of supermarkets instead of doing one-stop-shopping at a potentially pricy store, and have done a bunch of favors for friends whose schedules aren’t as flexible as mine is this summer. But even those favors seem somewhat selfish because they make me feel happy to be able to do them for people who have been so wonderful to me. I love this summer.

I still have a gift certificate for an hour-long massage that I need to use, have not yet taken a long-desired afternoon nap, have a bit of organizing I need to accomplish, and would like to embark on at least one interesting day-trip before summer’s end. But what else? Find inner peace? Fall in love? Change my way of thinking about some things (and some people)? The options are endless…and I do still have six weeks. Stay tuned…