I’m being led.

I’ve shared before about how things just weren’t flowing right with my weight loss efforts and I have been really trying hard to get in better alignment with my intentions. I’ve been reading Geneen Roth, Women Food and God, listening to Abraham-Hicks MP3s, and even hired a new trainer. She’s wonderful and high-energy and positive. She is giving me all sorts of guidance around how to exercise (high-intensity, less time), how to eat (supplements, enzymes, probiotics) and most importantly, how to stay focused on the positive.

The negative talk in my head is LIES. Am I perfect? No. Am I doing all I can do? Yes. Is it enough? HELL YES. I have a wonderful, beautiful family including a 9-month old son who brings me joy just by shooting me a cheesy grin. I have a thriving consulting business doing work I enjoy making great money in any economy, especially this one. There are so many reasons to be grateful (not the least of which being that I just found out my meetings with the Philippines scheduled from 10 pm to 12 am were cancelled – woo hoo).

So, when I was working out with my new trainer, I broke down in tears several times. She asked why I was crying as I struggled through the second set of burpees. “You’re not supposed to be at my level of fitness. I hope you’re not comparing yourself to me…” “No,” I sobbed. “I’m comparing myself to me. To what I was before I got pregnant.”

I will get there. I. Will. Get. There. And there will be many tears shed along the way. And you know what? I can live with that.

BodyMedia update: My trainer is excited at what the armband can do. She might end up getting one for herself! Check it out here at http://www.bodymedia.com/.