My nanny left two weeks ago, and I’ve been counting the days, for better or worse.

I was spoiled, I admit it. We’ve had a nanny since Seth was born, and now I’m in a bit of culture shock. Me…do laundry? Me….cook? Me…make the beds?

But, really, it’s for the best. It, sadly, ended in a more dramatic fashion that I ever would have imagined. And, it wasn’t planned. But, it was a long time in the coming.

Our nanny wasn’t well suited to Seth anymore. She is wonderful with babies who she can love and care for. But, for a busy five year old, he’s more than she could handle on a daily basis. And, I understand. I’m 48 and peri-menopausal. Some days he knocks me out too, but he’s my son…it’s not a job I get paid to do.

We’ve all been adjusting. I feel like I’m racing the clock more these days since I have no flexibility with my schedule as I did before, since she was live-in.

But, we’ve decided to enroll Seth in an after school program for two days, starting today. I’m crossing my fingers that he’ll like it. I feel like it’s a good thing. More social time for him with peers. Also, probably, more exposure to germs, from what I hear…but hopefully his immune system can withstand it.

Part of me feels a bit guilty for putting him in a program after school because he won’t get home until after 6PM now…a longer day than he’s had. And, then we’ll have homework. But, the other part of me is relieved that I have a greater chunk of time to get things done, and to hit the gym at 5pm, at least on Mondays, as I was used to. I’ve always been a night person and like to be out after dark.

Unfortunately, these days, my son is becoming a night person too, in that he doesn’t want to sleep. He’s seen monsters on ‘n off since the nanny left. My guess is that he’s feeling the loss and he’s having nightmares. It’s tough and sad. So, we’ve been reassuring him that mommy and daddy aren’t going anywhere, in an effort to build back up his security. At his young age, he can’t articulate all that he feels, so it’s manifesting in restless nights.

I’m happy there’s alot less tension in the house without our nanny. At times it felt like I had two children since they would disagree. He always loved her, but didn’t learn to respect her since she never disciplined him. She always just wanted to be loved.

So, I wish our nanny well, and I know that we’ll all get used to the new situation. Letting go is part of growth, and we’re working on that a lot in my house these days.