Guest Blog Post: Three Steps to Your Desire as a Mother by Judith Joy, author, Surviving Your Teenager…and Being Happy Anyway

Are you are looking for a new way to “deal with” your children?  What if it’s not about your children?  What if what you are looking for is a feeling within yourself that you can matter what your children are doing?

(And they will be doing lots of crazy stuff as they stretch their wings and experiment with life.)  What if all you have to do is to change yourself?

This is possible.and it’s easy.  The key is to allow instead of force.

Think gentle flow, and you’ve got it. 

Follow these three steps to sift your reality. imagine, feel, and focus:

1.            Imagine whatever it is you do desire. 

Think of your ultimate goal. Play with the goal.  Expand it and contract it to find your true desire. 

Now, imagine that you already have achieved your goal and are looking at it.

What do you see, feel, smell, know, perceive, taste, etc.?  Keep filling in the picture that you are painting in your head with more and more details. 

 Then let it go.  Yes.  Let it go.  Pretend it’s a visual image or email that you have sent into the cosmos.

2.            Feel the sensations of already having the desire. 

Identify the feeling or sensation you will have when you have your desire.

Check with your body and actually feel the sensation.  Identify what that feels like.

3.            Focus on the feeling of the desire. 

This is more expansive than just focusing on the desire itself or identifying the feelings.  This is actually feeding the feeling.  By focusing on the feeling, you are sending waves of energy into the universe saying this is the feeling I desire. 

You are allowing the universe to work for you and it will respond and bring you experiences that match the feeling.some of which may be better than your desire.  Notice the word “may.” Don’t hold onto your intended desire as the only way your identified feeling can show up.  If you are open to things being even better than the original desire, then you will be able to accept all the better things that come your way.  By focusing on the feeling, you are opening yourself to the possibility of something even better. 

In every moment, you have a choice to focus on the feeling or not.  Many of the things we do help us to keep finding the feeling and others help us find other feelings.  Stay with those things that enhance the feeling you desire.

What books, TV shows, music, experiences, movements, etc. will enhance this feeling?  Who can you associate with, talk to, listen to, and hang out with that will enhance this feeling?  Keep choosing the feeling and the experiences will find you.  Most methods, tools, and techniques are ways to focus on the feeling.  The important thing is to keep reminding yourself of the actual feeling.

What about the doing?  Don’t you have to do something?  Yes.  Take advantage of the possibilities that show up in your life. This is a way to focus on the feeling.

For example:  Mary was frustrated because her son, who was very smart, was dragging his heels about applying to colleges.  No matter what she did, he didn’t seem to care and wouldn’t fill out the forms.  So, she decided to give up the nagging and focus on her true desire.her son going to college, preferably the University of Michigan, her alma mater.  She found the feeling SHE would have when he went to college.a settled feeling knowing that he was on the path to success.  She took advantage of having to sign into her computer 60+ times a day to remind herself to focus on the feeling and ultimate desire. 

Mary gave up her nagging, identified the true desire and feeling, and then focused on that feeling.  Remember, the inspired action was a way to focus on the feeling.  After the first password (hljcollege2014) her son (hlj) started to apply to colleges.  He even chose to apply to the University of Michigan and submitted the application 15 minutes before the midnight deadline.  The next password (hljgoblue2014) also worked.  He was accepted to two colleges, both of which have blue as one of their colors.  He is going to the University of Michigan.

You can use this simple method in your life, too.  Have faith, and believe that something else is possible.  Then imagine what the desired possibility might be as well as what it looks and feels like.  Feel the sensations of this feeling.  And, finally, focus on the feeling while doing things that enhance the feeling.  If you stick with these steps, then the desire will be there because you are open to allowing the possibility for it to be there.

It may appear immediately, or it may take some time to come to you.  It’s all about YOU and how you feel.

surviving-your-teenager-book-coverJudith Joy is an empowerment/ parenting coach, Matrix Energetics-certified practitioner, teacher, mother, and author of Lessons From The Universe—a collection of web-based short stories—and the inspirational book, Surviving Your Teenager…And Being Happy Anyway.

Through a series of enlightening exercises included in the book, Judith assists parents in shifting their perspective and energy to find the happiness that already resides within. The result? Happier, healthier, and more freeing communications with your teenager. It’s all about changing how YOU look at things, not about how to change your teenager.

Visit her online at


To motive your teen, you might visit here.

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