Hot Flash Mom by Lori j Loesch

I’m very tired.  I feel worn out.  I’ve been dealing with Menopausal symptoms.  The hot flashes are the worst.  I can’t sleep, or even take care of daily things.  My mood is very cranky.  I want to go to the Chiropractor, but, I’m looking for a new one, and I would be very embarrassed if I’d have a hot flash while he was adjusting me.  The very fact that I’m worried about having a hot flash, will ensure that I will certainly have one!  

I feel as though I want to live in a bathtub, swimming pool, or ocean.  I can’t stand them, hot flashes.  I feel as though my body is burning from the inside out.  Sweat rolls down my face and chest, too much information, sorry!  But they are awful!  At night I awake in a total sweat, hot heat.  I throw off the covers, hope it won’t last long, then freeze.  I have started to get up out of bed, shuffle to the closet, strip off all my clothes, and put on fresh clean clothes.  Awe, that feels so much better.  Warm, soft, dry clothes.  Now the laundry is piling up!  Another thing to fret over.  

I thought I was going to die, last week.  I was glad my daughter had spring break, because this was the worst week so far, and I was glad I didn’t have a routine.  I felt a lot of guilt, though, because I really wanted to take her somewhere.  My doctor’s appointment was  days away.  It was Friday, and I thought I may have to go to the hospital, for some relief.  I was in tears, every morning, having little sleep and waking to an instant hot flash.  My husband talked to our pharmacist, and he suggested a natural, non hormonal pill.  I thought it did get me through the weekend, and I was so grateful, to have found something. 

The pharmacist is a friend of ours, and he suggested that I tell my doctor about this pill.  He didn’t think he’d, had any knowledge of it.  My doctor said, “Oh they don’t work.”  Right… most don’t, but these, did.  He put me on a natural hormone, even the pharmacist agreed that it wasn’t the bad one and he was glad for that, but gave me information on natural remedies.  I have been too wiped out to read them.

This brings me to the idea that, is it a good idea to have a child later in life, than sooner?  I go to the idea that God gave me a child later in life because he has a plan.  I don’t see it, but I believe.  I am waiting…

How will I be there for my daughter, when I’m not able to care for myself?  My husband is seven years older than I, and his health is questionable.  I can see myself fixing his collar, helping him along, taking care of him in his time of need.  But…I can’t.  As a woman, this hurts.  I hurt so deeply.  I am torn.  Do we retire, become snow birds?  Can’t.  Faith is in school during the snow bird months.  

I’m waiting for the menopausal symptoms to go away.  I hope that I’ll be able to get back into life.  Things are progressing forward in a more positive way, and I don’t need this setback.  When I think of all the things that are going on in my life, I really need to write a book.  Maybe a lot of people have unbelievable things going on.  I need a support group.  I was driving home from the store, on one of those hot flash, tired days and thought, wow, there’s a lot going on.  I think a lot of it comes down to how we handle life’s situations.  In this family we usually do the knee jerk, overreact, reaction.  We are working on that.  Life is hard, being an older mom adds to the hardship.  

Tags: hot flashes, medipausal symptoms, older mom, young child