Nick Cannon and the share economy… NOPE! by Pamela Francis

I love the share economy. I was never really good at sharing when I was growing up because I had numerous brothers and sisters of whom I was the oldest, and at some point, the only way I could stop them from going into my possessions and absconding with them was to stay stuck on 5’2 110 lbs for a number of years until they all got bigger and fatter than me and could no longer find any use for the articles of clothing they had been helping themselves to, from out of my closet, for far too long. Yes, I had a locked chest and everything, at one point, just to try to keep the mofos out of my ish. And nothing ever worked. Except that one. Stay small. But I digress. The point is, I’ve never been into sharing. So when this share economy came into play, I was pretty impressed. This other generation had something I didn’t: an ability to let others have some. None of that petty territoriality and possessiveness for them. Uh-uh. As Louise Hay once said…, “There is plenty for everyone… including me.” And I really admire that. This extended into cars…, homes…, clothing… and now, apparently…, sperm.
Now in addition to not being an avid sharer, I have also never been a Nick Cannon fan. I think he’s cute and all, or was, at least, back in the “Drumline” days, and I have been impressed with his ability to stay relevant, marry Mariah Carey, and keep a job in Hollywood. Those annoying clickbait sidebars on Yahoo that want me to know that Nick Cannon comes from billions, is also a tad intriguing, though I have yet to click that bait. I don’t give enough of a f***. But what does have me hella-curious is what the freak is going on with the maternity harem?!
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is share economy gone bonkers. As I recall from my younger adult days, nothing says “ghetto” like making babies all over town (or the country, as my uncle Mark was want to do). And as for the ladies… come on, Abby. You know ding-dang well yo mama didn’t raise you for this. Without clicking on any form of bait, I am looking for someone to make this all make sense for me. Why is this okay? With him… with them… with any of us? Sure, I could mind my business, and I probably will in about a week once I’ve firmly secured my Season 2 Kardashians blinders on and that’s all I give a damn about. But for now, all I can think about is the few times I’ve had friends whose “man” made babies outside the relationship, and how it totally effed them up. These were women of great poise and dignity, too. They would go on to acknowledge the transgression, become whatever version of friends they could muster with the other mom(s), and even extend their grace and bounty to the (jump)offspring. Is something different here? Has share economy turned us into some super-evolved species that can let it go… let it go…?
I don’t know…
I’ll ask Khloe.

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