No Zany in Tall by Pamela Francis

I am short. Five three, to be somewhat exact. I’ve come to grips with it, though; even seeing the good in it — its “perks”, as it were. I never bump my head on anything really… I’m always the one finding money on the ground… Nobody expects terribly much of me in the way of heroics… Stuff like that. Sure I wonder from time to time if it was the coffee I’ve been drinking all my life that did it. Coffee stunts your growth, I’ve heard tell. And I have been drinking the joe pretty steadily since my first cup, given to me in 5th grade by my math teacher… Ms. Atacador. Of the Philippines. She loved me. “I can’t wait to see you in ten years,” she always gushed with a wistful, anticipatory pride… Yeah, Ms. Atacador ushered me in to Teacher’s Pet-dom by openly giving me the remainder of her styrofoam cup one fateful winter’s day back in 1978.  And there in front of everyone at Immaculate Conception School, I became… a coffee drinker.  At 10 years old.  So, yes, I’m short.  But it’s okay because although I cannot get away with anything pertaining to discounted rides or reduced admission prices, I can get away with everything else, from egregious Napolean Complex behavior, to spriteliness.  I can play around.  I can giggle.  I can stand in front of people who were there before me at concerts and rallies…  Not sure if you all know this, but you can get away with a lot when you are short.  And maybe that’s where my older son was coming from when he started grumbling about responsibility and accountability and all that unfun stuff he was starting to become aware of as he was about to turn 17, and was growing at a rate that had me at first looking him in the eye, and soon… looking UP at him.

He was saying how little he gets to be “zany” like the other 16-yr olds he encounters.  At school…, in life…, wherever.  His life – his… mindset trajectory, let’s say,  — doesn’t lend itself to “being zany”, he was lamenting.

“Dude,” I said, “your height doesn’t lend itself to Zany.  You’re too tall.”  (My kid is now 2 months into being 17, and is about 6 feet.)

Yeah, man… There’s no “zany” in tall.  There’s Politician… There’s Basketball Player… There’s Bouncer… But there’s no room in our society for “zany” when you’re above a certain height.  We call that “Dufus” here.  You can’t be homeless…, you can’t be a follower…, and ya can’t be Silly McZany…  when you’re tall.

But what about Jim Carrey, or that guy on Fresh Beat Band, or even… Will Smith, he would’ve asked if he had been thinking fast on his feet instead of agonizing over the prospect of never being allowed to be anything less than stately ever again.  To which I would have said…  Unicorns, son.  But instead, I took this as an opportunity to imbue my burgeoning young man with the realities of leadership and the demands on “the next generation” to show up in ways our societies and humankind depend on.  For every time I’ve shuddered to think, Dear God I’d hate to see what it’s going to be like when [insert appallingly inadequate successor here] is in charge…, I say a prayer of thanks and offer up a glimmer of hope for the [insert awe-inspiring, young up and comer] that restores my faith in things turning out right in our world.

Are they all 6 feet and over…?  Of course not.  Are some of them zany…?  I hope they find time to be.  But since I’ve been entrusted to be the mother of a stately young man with a heart for world change and a mind that mulls over life’s hard questions… I’m thinking…

President ;-)

Tags: #mother and son moments, #responsible teens are cool, #teen advocate Malachi Douglas, #when you're tall, later moms