One Foot on a Banana Peel, The Other On The Gas Pedal By: Lori j Loesch

I feel like I’ve got one foot on a banana peel, to retirement, and the other on the gas pedal of a race car.  Being an older mom, has it’s ups and downs.  As I get older, age has a way of sliding into my life and changing everything.  I don’t do anything as fast as I did when I was in my thirties.  There are physical challenges that have changed me.  I don’t feel like the happy person that I used to be.  I really think that the physical pain, and my vision difficulty have a lot to do with it.  When everything I do is somewhat of a challenge, or at least harder to do than it used to be, I get grumpy.  Late afternoon and evenings are difficult especially when I spend the day running errands and lifting heavy loads of groceries.  I want to turn in earlier than my daughter.  

My daughter is doing well in her new charter school.  She is happy and I see her smile a lot more.  She usually isn’t ready to leave when I arrive to pick her up.  She has found kids, her age, that know exactly what she’s talking about!  She is a computer child.  She likes to play games, draw pictures and make videos.  She is being challenged and it’s very good for her.  They have a project to do, where they will design and build an invention, that can help people do a job, easier.  She needs to reach out of that perfectly, square, public school box, and embrace her ideas.  I hope she has fun with her invention and builds confidence in herself.  

  My son is twenty-one, soon to be twenty-two.  He has always been a good boy.  Never got into trouble, never smoked, did drugs or drank alcohol.  He grew up taking care of our family business.  There are some that think he never had a childhood.  He was working, with dad, since the day he was born.  I have a picture of David, holding Jules in front of the computer, Jules was only a few weeks old, it was four in the morning and baby didn’t want to sleep.  He always went with dad to the lumber companies, bank, and the job.  He knew the business men of the community better than I did.  

No matter how old our kids get, we are still their parents.  I would like to think that my son still needs my ear to listen and my words of wisdom to ponder.  I can hope.  The toddler problems were easy to solve with a kiss, a hug, and a bandaid or two or five.  The issues that an adult child has are not so easily solved.  They still need to find their way through it and it’s not easy, as a parent to watch them struggle.  Especially when I have the answer!  I’ve been there, did that!  But I need to suggest and not tell.  

Those toddler days seemed long and unending, sometimes, and looking back…they passed too fast.  There is no cut off date for being a parent.  There is no time when I’ll say that all is well and not be concerned about something.  

Tags: adult child, aging, Charter School, older mom