Start Your Second Act By Shannon Russell (Book Excerpt)
Live Life Without Regret
The magic behind checking all the boxes in life and choosing yourself along the way is that if you do, you ultimately have no regrets at the end of the day. Isn’t that what we all want for ourselves?
As a very self-aware person, I know what I want, and even if it’s unconventional, I go for it. This is because I suffer from FOMO—fear of missing out. For me, this doesn’t mean that I want to follow the pack but that I know what I’d like to try in this one life we get. My FOMO manifests as fear of missing an opportunity. If there is a concert I want to see, I get the tickets. If there is a place I want to visit, I book the trip. My best friends from college and I live in different states, so we make a point to get together once or twice a year. We do not let time go too long without seeing one another, because life is too short. We make each other a priority. No regrets!
There are situations or choices in my life that I could regret, but I choose to look at those as lessons learned instead. You can do the same when you look back at your life or career. Sure, you could have chosen a different major in college or taken a role at another company, but who knows where you would be now if you had? It’s similar to the Sliding Doors analogy—the idea that seemingly insignificant decisions or events can have a big impact on the future. Our past choices have brought us to where we are now, for better or worse. Yes, I probably shouldn’t have moved across the country for a boyfriend, and I probably should have accepted that once-in-a-lifetime internship at Disney, but those decisions led me to become the person I am today, so I don’t regret those erratic choices one bit. You shouldn’t regret your past either. After all, we can only control our future.
When I was 18 years old, I moved out of my parents’ house and lived states away for 12 years, missing so much precious time with my family. This is the one regret I have because I missed valuable time with my grandparents, who meant everything to me. So, when I became a mom, I chose to move back near my family. In choosing to leave my dream career in television, I chose to be present with my kids. I didn’t want to be away from them or miss anything. I now live my life with the check-all-the-boxes mentality because time is ticking, and I do not want to have regrets down the road.
In The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, author Bronnie Ware shares what she learned over years of working as a palliative carer providing medical care for people living with serious illnesses. One lesson Bronnie writes about in the book is the idea that life is ours and we have the ability to choose the direction in which we live. If we are unhappy, we have the power to change directions and choose happiness. Ultimately, life is our choice, and we are living it now. We must choose to live our lives the way we want. It’s now or never.
Her book has had a serious impact on my life and the lives of many, as we seize the opportunity to live life to the fullest and take on every opportunity in front of us. Bronnie’s words are the inspiration behind why I believe in goal lists so deeply. They are why I choose to live my life on my terms, saying yes to every adventure and aiming to live with no regrets. The bottom line is if you are not happy, make a change. Find what will make you happy.
Take note: If you don’t want to move up the ladder in your company and be in your boss’s role one day, then you may not be suited for what you are doing. There is no time to waste in life.
Learning these lessons about yourself now is a blessing in disguise. It may feel uncomfortable now, but in the long run, you will save yourself time, stress, and heartache.
Shannon Russell is a certified career transition and business coach, founder of Second Act Success, and host of Second Act Success Career Podcast and How to Quit Your Job and Start a Business podcast. As a keynote speaker and a corporate workshop leader, Shannon empowers women to leave unfulfilling careers and build joyful, purpose-driven businesses that allow them to live their best lives. Visit https://secondactsuccess.co/
