The death of “An” and other “tragedies” of a once literary society by Pamela Francis

A former sign captain at our neighborhood Home Depot once told me that if anyone in the store asked him to jump on a forklift and maneuver a 2-ton pallet of sod grass, or pick up a jigsaw and make an intricate cut into a 3″-thick piece of plywood, he’d do it in a jif. But let him place a black Sharpie anywhere near the trembling hands of any of the store’s other trained associates to write so much as “20% off” on a piece of cardboard, and they’d bolt. Men and women alike; natives and immigrants… it didn’t matter. No one wanted to be responsible for “writing” anything that others would see.

I know people have scriptophobia (I made that up). But seriously. Why else would a blog as engaging and entertaining as the one Motherhoodlater.com publishes go virtually comment-less? People are afraid to write. But they needn’t be really. Because at no other time in history has there been as forgiving of a discipline as the art of written expression. The English language has gone from being one of the most formidable, with its grammar police and usage vigilantes coming down hard on anyone who dare dangle a participle, to being a free-for-all of form and fancy. Our kids and their partners in crime — communication technology and social media — have lifted the embargo on freedom of SPEAK, and what used to be poetic license is now simply License. to kill. words like “an”.

When I was a school girl my language arts teacher would say, “Ow, that hurts my english ear!” if you used the word aint, or a double negative, or traded out saw for seen (“I seen this dude” instead of “I saw this dude”). Well, Sr. Kathleen would have full-blown tinnitus by now if she heard her very own compatriots saying, “My grandfather was a awesome man”, as my son’s history teacher just did the other day in a live broadcast, or “She is a expert practitioner…” said by another authoritative voice over public and far-reaching airwaves. “An” is dead, people. They’ve gone and killed her in favor of the long ay sound.  And yes,  I am a little sad.

Growing up and listening to the news in the 70s and 80s you’d never hear one word mispronounced. Never a stumble. Never an on-screen typo. Perfection was the element of style. I so thought I wanted to be an on-air newscaster. Not because of my love for journalism — I hate the news — but because I wanted to be one of those people with the perfect diction and proper pronunciation… (swoon)…

My husband only half jokingly claims he learned how to speak properly by watching Ted Koppel. And I believe him. Because those standards were very much a part of the life of a literary society that placed a premium on excellent communication, written and verbal. Now I am being told to lighten up, put down my imaginary red pen and recognize and respect that “language is living”. Translation: anyone can butcher it, make up new words (staycation) and bastardize old ones (conversate) at will. It’s open season on all forms of written expression. Yay.

So go ahead… write us! We won’t bite : )

Tags: #A vs. an, #freedom of speak, #how language has evolved, #personaltouchcreations.weebly.com, #the written word, #writing styles