The Nurture Revolution by Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD (Book Excerpt)
NO PERFECT BRAIN
Whenever I was hit with an obstacle during my pregnancy and birth that was out of my control—and now as the parent of a three‐year‐old—I had faith that the nurture I could influence would be a powerful part of the story. In pregnancy, that looked like meditating, napping or resting, prioritizing sleep, relaxing with a book or a show, and even starting to write this book! All are things that make me happy and helped man‐ age the ongoing stress I was experiencing. When I was able to meet my baby, I held him skin‐to‐skin, latched him, and ensured we had quiet intimate time together. In the NICU I did everything I could to hold and breastfeed my baby as much as possible. Then, when I brought my baby home, I had all of the influence. I could take care of him my way. I was confident that all of the nurture I would give my baby would build his brain.
There is no such thing as a perfect brain. Perfection is not the goal, not for our children and not for us as parents. What happens to us shapes us. We can’t control everything about pregnancy, birth, postpartum, or parenting, but we can influence how much we nurture. Applying the research I share in this book is the best chance we currently have to improve the mental and physical health of our children and the whole of society. We have the tools to maximize our children’s potential and minimize challenges like susceptibility to anxiety, depression, addiction, and poor physical health. Nurturing, positive early life experience, is a gift that lasts a lifetime.
We no longer have to worry that we are spoiling our babies, are encouraging them to be “clingy” and too dependent, or are developing bad habits by holding, kissing, cuddling, or reliably responding to them. We have the science to show that nurture is not only good for our babies, but also offers them the best chance at having all the things we wish for them as they grow into adults: mental and physical health, healthy rela‐ tionships, success in school and in work. We can inform our parenting choices with solid scientific research to maximize our children’s health. The next generation of infants is sure to see enormous benefits.
LOW-NURTURE MYTHS
For generations, we have been lied to about what to expect about our babies, their development, and their needs. The roots of these beliefs are capitalist and patriarchal and they are still infiltrating everything we believe about babies. We’ve been so heavily influenced by belief‐ based, low‐nurture information that starting a nurture revolution means unlearning deeply ingrained myths and replacing them with knowledge‐ based, neuroscience‐backed information. Understanding the evidence frees you from feeling you and your baby have to conform to these unrealistic and dangerous myths. When you unlearn them, you let your‐ self be a part of your own life rather than an echo of the doctors from whom these myths stem.
Excerpted from The Nurture Revolution by Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD. Copyright © 2023 by Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD. Reprinted with permission of Balance Publishing, an imprint of Hachette Book Group. All rights reserved.
Bio: Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD, trained at the University of Toronto, Columbia University, New York University and Yale University. Greer has combined her academic training with her experience as a doula and mother to lead The Nurture Revolution: a movement to nurture our babies’ brains to revolutionize mental health and impact larger systems in our world. Greer wants families, professionals, and workplaces to understand how early caregiving experience can boost mental wellness and diminish depression, anxiety, and addiction in adulthood by shaping babies’ brains through simple intuitive enriching experiences in pregnancy, birth and infancy. She offers resources, workshops, and coaching on her website www.nurture-neuroscience.com
