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Flipping Parenting On It’s Head! by Ali Skylar


For me, one of the benefits to being an older parent is that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten wiser.  Wiser though in ways I wish I had been when my kids were younger.

I don’t believe that anyone – no matter whether you’re a younger or motherhood later mom – goes into parenting confident, assured and feeling like “I’ve got this covered!”

On the contrary, parenting can be one of those experiences where you are thrown into the lion’s den of unassuredness, confusion, vulnerability and terror that you’re going to get everything wrong!

For many of us as newbie parents, we see these little beings as sponges, blank slates that are here to soak up all of our teachings, guidance and support.  It’s up to us to mold them, shape them and help them become happy and healthy and functioning beings in the world.

But what if they came here to teach us?

What if they came here to heal our childhood traumas?

It wasn’t until I was introduced to Dr. Shefali Tsabary on an Oprah episode that my whole approach to parenting got turned upside down.  In a good way…

Recently, on a trip home for the holidays, my 21 year old son, who has this past year stepped into a deep and meaningful journey exploring his spiritual connection, (now an Eckhart Tolle devotee), lovingly told me that he is my greatest spiritual teacher.

I know he was playfully poking the bear, trying to get a rise out of me, as he and I have spent MANY, MANY YEARS during his lifetime working with personal growth/spiritual concepts to help him get through the many, many challenges he experienced

But you know what?  After learning about Shefali’s teachings, I was able to say: “You certainly are and always have been.”

He totally loved that…:)

As parents our ego self loves to feel that we “know better” than our kids. That through many years of experiences, of successes and failures, we have a knowledge that we can share with our kids to help them not make the same “mistakes” that we did.

However, when you flip that around, and see that the challenging experiences we have with our kids as a moment where we get a chance to heal our personal issues, the game changes –  and healing happens not just for us, but for our children and all of the relationships in our lives.

Here’s a great description of the book from Amazon: 

“Instead of being merely the receiver of the parents’ psychological and spiritual legacy, children function as ushers of the parents’ development. Parents unwittingly pass on an inheritance of psychological pain and emotional shallowness. To handle the behavior that results, traditional books on parenting abound with clever techniques for control and quick fixes for dysfunction. In Dr. Shefali Tsabary’s conscious approach to parenting, however, children serve as mirrors of their parents’ forgotten self. Those willing to look in the mirror have an opportunity to establish a relationship with their own inner state of wholeness. Once they find their way back to their essence, parents enter into communion with their children, shifting away from the traditional parent-to-child “know it all” approach and more towards a mutual parent-with-child relationship. The pillars of the parental ego crumble as the parents awaken to the ability of their children to transport them into a state of presence.”

I wish I had read this book at the early stages of my children’s development.  I believe it is one of the best books written on parenting, and can help to create a much happier family construct which in turn, will create a much happier world.

Check it out here: https://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Parent-Transforming-Ourselves-Empowering/dp/1897238452/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=conscious+parenting&qid=1611335749&sr=8-1

And here’s Dr. Shefali’s website: https://www.drshefali.com/

Feel free to comment below..:)

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